Spiritual Authority

On 08 Dec, 2007 By mpm With 2 Comments

I've been thinking a lot about spiritual authority lately. Having decided not to move toward ordination, that realm where you are given "official" spiritual authority, I have wondered what my own spiritual authority might be. In thinking about doing teaching around spiritual topics, I have not felt sure that I had the "right" - not sure that I had the credentials necessary. What is "spiritual authority"? Is it something that you can claim, or is it given to you? Of course Christians have their own perspective of it - and it's quite hierarchical (and patriarchal) in essence. It is authority delegated by God, onto some people. Watchman Nee, who literally wrote the book on spiritual authority said: "If God dares to entrust His authority to man, then we can dare to obey. Whether the one in authority is right or wrong does not concern us. The obedient one needs only to obey. The Lord will not hold us responsible for any mistaken obedience, rather He will hold the delegated authority responsible for his erroneous act." \<insert big cringe here> Of course, progressive Christians don't hold to this perspective, and movements like the Emergent Church, where there are flat hierarchies, and many leaders aren't ordained, are repudiations of this perspective. But for many Christians, it is important to obey the delegated authority of God. And there is, for many people of many faiths, the feeling about "obeying" God's will for them - often coming in the form of messages from those with spiritual authority. But that perspective of spiritual authority is, fundamentally, hierarchical, with the perspective that God is "on top" and through a tree of spiritual authority, your average person is underneath, obeying those above (and obeying God). I'm not really down with that perspective (yeah, I know you are surprised.) What would a view of spiritual authority be in a non-hierarchical context? I can't help but think of the Buddha, who basically said "don't just believe what I say - experience it yourself." We all have our own spiritual authority we can claim - in our experiences, and in whatever wisdom we have gained or can tap into. Of course, we also give others authority. A guru would be nothing without followers - a teacher nothing without students. People choose to give other individuals spiritual authority - they feel that person has something useful and important to share with others. I think, optimally, it's a mix - we can give people spiritual authority so that we can learn from them. We can claim spiritual authority, because we have our own experiences, and we have our own inner wisdom. But in both the claiming and the giving, there has to be openness. Being open to understand that we, or the person we are giving authority to, can't be perfect, can't know all of the answers, or hold the truth. In fact, we, or they, may be severely flawed in one way or another. But that openness means that there is always more to learn, more places to find wisdom, both in others, and in ourselves.

Jane Rule, RIP

On 30 Nov, 2007 By mpm

Jane Rule, the well-known lesbian writer, died on Tuesday. I had the great pleasure to go to Galliano Island, where she lived, and meet her a few years ago, because a good friend of mine was a friend of hers.  Jane was wonderful to spend time with. I had one of those interesting experiences, where you think about what your younger self would have thought if you had been able to see yourself in the future. I remember quite well going to the movie "Desert Hearts" with my girlfriend at the time, when I was a very young 26. The movie was pretty ground-breaking - a movie about lesbians with a happy ending, in 1985. The book, "Desert of the Heart" that it was based on, was itself groundbreaking - part of the first wave of lesbian literature. She gave so much, and will be remembered well.

Friday Cat Blogging: Chivo Tigre

On 16 Nov, 2007 By mpm With 1 Comments

I know that Friday Cat Blogging is probably out of style now, but I can't help it. We have a new cat, whose name is Chivotigre (or Chivo Tigre.) If you don't speak spanish, it means "goat tiger" or "goaty tiger". Chivotigre (or, as we sometimes call him Chivito Tigrecito) is a Siamese/Tiger mix, and he is way, way cute. There was a bit of a rough start last week when we brought him home (he bit me pretty hard) but he's calmed down, and has become a wonderful mellow kitty (and even lets us put nasty antibiotic in his ear - he has an ear infection.) Anywhere, here he is. There are more pictures on flickr.

Letters from friends

On 11 Nov, 2007 By mpm With 4 Comments

One of the things one does when one moves, at least what I've almost always done, is sort through old stuff. Usually, I do it before I move, to cull things I don't want to go to the new place. I'd had this box of old letters in my friend's attic, from when I stored some stuff there during my time in seminary. I moved it, and I'm just now sorting through it. Reading old letters from friends is always a heart-tugging process. It's been a while since I did it. Most of the letters are from people I no longer am in touch with. Almost everyone I'm not in touch with is because we'd lost touch before the days of email and, later, social networks, which is how I'm increasingly keeping connected with friends (I even have a few college friends on Facebook and LinkedIn.) Lately, I've been drawn to Google people, although that more often than not results in dead ends (or in one case, an obituary.) There are the letters from college friends, to addresses in Cleveland, where I went to grad school. Then there are letters from Cleveland friends, to addresses in Colorado and Massachusetts. A series of letters from an ex-lover. A college roomate once sent me a series of postcards from New York City. Letters from an old friend who I am still in email contact with, and many long letters and cards from a close friend who is estranged. And there are a few letters from people I hardly remember. One of the most poignant set of letters is from a good friend in Cleveland whose presence no longer graces this planet. It's also one of those small world stories. I lived in Ruth's house in Oakland for a short while, and the woman whose room I took had lived in Cleveland at a time that overlapped with mine. We knew some of the same people, and she did seem vaguely familiar, but we hadn't really known each other. I asked about this friend, Shana Blessing, and she said "she took herself out of this world" - that is, she committed suicide. In reading the letters from Shana, I am reminded of how tortured she was, and, at the same time, how deeply she felt the world, and how she struggled to find her place. In one of the letters, surprisingly, is this line: "I really feel it is time to return to school. I began by looking for theological schools in the Bay Area, but there does not seem to be a program which approaches spirituality non-traditionally (or should I say traditionally but non-patriarchally)." I wish I could tell her about what I'd experienced, and how life-changing seminary in the Bay Area was for me. Perhaps she already knows.

2008 Election Tidbits

On 08 Nov, 2007 By mpm With 2 Comments

• Ron Paul is a Republican candidate I almost can support. Almost, but, utlimately, not. He's right on so many issues, like getting out of the empire business entirely, and on limiting the government's ability to spy on us. But he's anti-choice, seems like he wants to eliminate the social safety net, and has some other stands that I have a hard time with. There is so much to like ... and so much to dislike. Sigh.
• Pat Robertson endorsed Rudi Guliani. Huh? One of the prime spokespeople for the radical right is endorsing the cross-dressing pro-choice, pro-gay rights ex-mayor of New York? Triple huh?
• Who the \^*&\^ is Duncan Hunter? Doesn't really matter, I'm not voting for him. But the way he talks about the blogosphere sounds like he's never actually been here.
• John Edwards has a great comeback to the haircut thing.

Conversatio Morum and living with the earth

On 30 Oct, 2007 By mpm

I was reintroduced to the Rule of St. Benedict recently by a photoessay done by a PSR colleague, published this month in Ochre Journal. It's a great view of a Benedictine monastery in Idaho, the Monastery of St. Gertrude. One of the most interesting aspects to me of Benedictine spirituality is the concept of Conversatio Morum - which basically means that one is always on a journey of conversion - there isn't just a moment of conversion. The nuns at St. Gertrude have an interesting interpretation of this:

This promise is a commitment to change within a tradition that is often viewed as static. The balancing of the promise of stability with that of continual change has produced gradual adjustments in the sisters' understanding of their responsibility to the land. It is also a powerful alternative to the rapid and destabilizing shifts that mark much change in the world today. ... True to the process of conversatio morum, the sisters' focus on the land was not a sudden decision, but a gradual conversion. Building on their history with the land, they realized that their retreats, land stewardship committee, gardens and orchards, and interactions with neighbors built a foundation of care and concern for the land.

It has wonderful photographs, and it's a great read. Check it out.

Settling in...

On 28 Oct, 2007 By mpm

It's almost done. 99% of our stuff has been moved from Shutesbury to Shelburne Falls. We need to take one last trip out there to gather up the remaining odds and ends that we missed yesterday. It rained all day yesterday, which wasn't at all fun, and we're in a house full of boxes. And I can't find anything. And we're both exhausted, and pretty much out of steam. Now, what comes is the slow unpacking, settling in, making this house our new home. It feels good. We took a walk down to town this afternoon, and spent some time at Mocha Maya's listening to a great band, called Jo Henley. It's great to be so close to town, and getting out and doing stuff isn't this big production - we can just go out the door and walk three blocks. Or, we can spend 15 minutes in the car instead of 25-30 to get to a "big town". Greenfield, the closest, is a great place, and has just about everything we need. By the way, the movers were amazing. We figured it was a classical Valley story that we hired movers called "Warrior Spirit Movers" who used biodiesel trucks, and the message on their voicemail ends in "namaste." They were 3 sturdy, young guys who were nice to be around, were efficient, and really hustled.  And they were reasonably priced, too. We were both saying "thank the Goddess for testosterone and youth." And experience - they knew what they were doing. I look forward to seeing how the house takes shape, as we unpack the boxes, put up pictures, decide where to put things, and start really living in the house. It feels nice so far.

R.I.P Cielito Lindo

On 20 Oct, 2007 By mpm With 1 Comments

As many of you know, I'm a cat person. I've had, and lost, a number of cats in my life. Last night, my partner's cat, who I'd adopted as my own as well, died of lymphoma. We'll miss all of his quirkiness: his wanting to get on top of us after a shower or hot tub, his "presiding" over our nightly check-ins, his way of getting "tithes" while I was eating chicken or fish. He was such a relational cat, so sweet and loving. We're burying him here, at the house we're about to leave in a week, because he loved the woods, and loved being outdoors here. We'll miss him.

Finally! Girlfriend School

On 13 Oct, 2007 By mpm

My partner and I have been hatching this plan for months, and it has finally come to fruition. We'll be starting to teach a series of workshops in November, that we have whimsically named "Girlfriend School". Here's the short blurb from our website:

Our purpose is to help lesbians -- and everyone else -- have joyful, nourishing intimate relationships. Our methods are Eastern and Western, spiritual and psychological, ancient and modern. We believe in the essential wholeness of each person, and offer tools to help you access your own deep reserves of wisdom and compassion. Our workshops create opportunities to bring greater consciousness to your current relationship, or become ready for the relationship of your dreams.

We'll be teaching the workshops in Shelburne Falls, at our new home, which has a wonderful studio space that is perfect for this sort of thing. I'm excited about it. I hope you'll check it out.

Hasn't the Left Behind Game been ... left behind?

On 03 Oct, 2007 By mpm

You may, or may not, recall the little tiffle I got into with the folks at Talk2Action last year about the Left Behind Game. What's interesting is that according to Public Theologian, the makers of the game are threatening legal action against people who speak against the game, because they are coming out with an "expansion pack".  He says:

Christians should not sit silently while  corporate money-grubbers make a buck out of perverting the Christian faith.  Nor should we sit silently when a game is marketed to children promoting religious violence while American soldiers are dying overseas in the middle of a religious and ethnic civil war. We should not have anything in our possession which would hinder us from speaking the truth about what is happening.  Better to have nothing and be honest than well-off and complicit with evil.

When I wrote my blog entries about the game, I got a silly spammy comments from the game people in my blog. The game hasn't sold well, and hasn't gotten good reviews, so that should be enough to get rid of it, finally. It's a silly implementation of a whacked premise from a series of books that are problematic at best, and certainly not something Jesus would find especially in line with his teachings. I'll quote a bumpersticker that I really need to find a copy of: "When Jesus said 'love your enemies', he probably meant not to kill them." 

Time for writing

On 22 Sep, 2007 By mpm

Ruth and I are off to Provincetown for a week. It's part vacation, part writing retreat. I'm going to try and get further on my sequel, and also think about what I want to do with my first novel. It needs editing, still, but soon, it will be ready to go out in the world in some form. I'll be taking with me a lot of books on writing, and thinking about what it means to be a writer. And, I'll be bringing with me some good sci fi reading. I'll have more to say about writing in the next while - it's been on my mind a lot, and I want to grapple with the issues around writing for me, and move my writing to the next level.

"Secular" vocations and calling

On 22 Sep, 2007 By mpm

I have been reading a blog written by a friend from PSR, who is currently doing his CPE. And in writing him an email, I was thinking about this odd place I find myself in. Two years ago, I was an excited new seminarian, having heard "the call" and soaking in all that seminary had to offer me. I dove in head first, and even helped spearhead a contemplative spiritual practice group at PSR (which I hear is still going strong.) And, two years later I am neck-deep in what is a secular vocation - even if I named my work blog "Zen and the art of Nonprofit Technology." And the question seems right in front of me: what happened to my calling, really? Of course, I have many answers to that question - and, ultimately, the calling never left me. I keep looking for ways to balance all of who I am - and bring my full presence to everything I do, whether it be my work, my writing, my life with my partner, or any other endeavor that I take up. I guess that's really it - my full self includes that part of me that felt so deeply called to manifest my highest self, that self that is in alignment with all of Being.

Of Garlic Festivals and Community

On 16 Sep, 2007 By mpm With 1 Comments

I went to the North Quabbin Garlic and Arts Festival in Orange, Massachusetts today. It was, in its way, a pretty standard festival - lots of booths, and food, and stages for musicians, etc. It was fun, for sure. The "GQ" index (Ruth and I like to talk about the "GQ" or "Grooviness Quotient") of the festival was quite high. It was a "trash-free" festival - everything was recycled or composted, which was wonderful. All of the electricity was generated either by biodeisel or solar power. There were lots of local farmers and local artists and artisans selling everything from, er, garlic, to special kinds of jams and mustards, to wood sculptures, to prints and varied kinds of artwork, etc. As Ruth and I were driving to the festival, while she was twiddling the dials on the radio, she noticed that I rarely listen to music while I drive, but "people talking about depressing topics." We then went on to talk about what point is it, really, to stay informed? What can we do differently, or better, if we hear how many thousands of dollars a minute is being poured into killing innocent people? I was thinking about the fall of the Roman Empire, and what average Jane and Joe did while it crumbled. I don't have an answer, but I did realize that there wasn't much we could do except vote, make our voices heard when we can, and, I think perhaps most importantly - create the communities, organizations and culture that will, perhaps, grow out of the rotting hulk that is our society. As Ghandi said, "be the change you want to be."

Jesus as a spiritual teacher

On 11 Sep, 2007 By mpm With 6 Comments

Even when I decided, about 2 years ago now, to call myself a Christian, I couldn't accept the "Jesus as Savior" perspective. It just never worked for me - this idea of substitutionary atonement - that Jesus died on the cross because we are such sinful beings, and there had to be some sacrifice to God on our behalf. And the "Jesus as example" (or, in the words of a good friend, "moral teacher" - the "what would Jesus do?" kind of way of looking at him) worked, but felt, well flat, and not really expressing how I felt, or the depth of what I thought. But, I felt kinda stuck in that place. A place of having to reject one perspective, and take on one that felt inadequate. A few days ago I thought about another way of looking at Jesus, one that Christians basically don't: as a spiritual teacher. A spiritual teacher in a more Eastern sense - an incredibly wise, fully enlightened being that points to the truth in many different ways, because it's not really possible to state the truth - the truth is unknowable except in our own experience. Pointing to the truths we already deeply know, but need to be woken up to. This perspective kind of woke me up, in a sense. When I started studying Bible in seminary a couple of years ago, I felt that the approach of progressive Christian theologians and bible scholars to the bible was, in a sense, unfortunate, because it was a series of subtractions from the text. I had liked the Jewish tradition better - which felt additive. The text could mean this, or this, or that, or maybe even this ... And, of course, the approach to think of Jesus as a spiritual teacher leads to a much more additive/interpretive approach to his words - because if he's not speaking "the truth", but, instead pointing to the truth that we already  know inside us (which is what all true spiritual teachers do), then exactly what he meant is basically up to each of us to decide.  And, in a sense, it doesn't even matter so much whether we think or know he actually said something - whatever can bring us closer to our own understanding of truth is what matters. Of course, to some people, this sounds problematic - because they want there to be something that is the truth - an unchangeable, unshakable thing they can depend on - and they search for that in the Bible. But that kind of truth can't be found there. It can't because it doesn't exist.  The truth really is in each of us, in our own experience - we deeply know it, but often aren't willing or able to acknowledge it.

Summer Vacation!

On 25 Aug, 2007 By mpm

No. I'm not on vacation, even though a lot of other people are. I get summer vacation in September, when Ruth and I go to P-Town for a few days, but that's after Fall equinox, so, it's actually a Fall vacation. So why that post title? I have been spending a lot of time working in our screen porch, which feels like heaven. And just earlier I was standing at the stove, making tomato sauce for dinner, with these amazing fresh summer tomatoes from our CSA farm, and feeling a summer breeze flow through the kitchen, and I felt a real sense of peace. The feeling of being at home, really at home, safe, loved, and enjoying a moment of cooking therapy made me feel like I was on vacation. And, of course, that's the way it should be, right? We can be in the midst of craziness and stress of work, lots of other things going on, but if we can find peace and centeredness in the midst of that - well, that means we get vacation all the time, or, at least, we can feel those moments that are like vacation during times when we are not.

Catching up on UU blogs

On 19 Aug, 2007 By mpm

I while ago, when I was still part of the UU Blogosphere, I kept up with lot of UU blogs, like Philocrites, Chalice Chick, PeaceBang, and quite a number of others. After I left UUism, I didn't read very many UU blogs. I think Boy in the Bands (Scott Wells) was one of the only UU blogs that I regularly read, partially because of the Universalist stuff he'd write, and partially because we are fellow Linux geeks. The other was Ministrare (Rev. Sean), because we'd first met in RLP's chat room, and we'd just missed getting to hang out in real life, because he spent a semester on sabbatical at Starr King the spring after I'd left PSR - so there was a personal connection. And every once in a while, I'd catch a whiff of a UU blogosphere conversation (like Beauty Tips for Minsters, and a much more recent one about Christian practices among UUs.) Interestingly enough, it was that most recent one that sent me back to reading some UU blogs, and I've added a bunch back to my "religion" tab on Netvibes (how I read RSS feeds.) I find that I like the things I'm reading and the conversations people are having - especially the UU Christan folks. The kinds of questions and discussion seem refreshing and interesting to me. After I left seminary, and in a space of real struggle with where I sat in terms of Christianity, I wrote a piece a while back (late last year) called "Sacrifice":

I realize that I must sacrifice my desire to sit within Christianity, or any religious tradition -- I must sacrifice that impulse, that drive, to find myself at home within some given structure or institution. I must sacrifice a comfort and familiarity of a known, an understood. I must sacrifice this all, in order to really be able to fully embrace the God I know. God is so much bigger than one faith tradition.

Cough. Sputter. Er. Sounds a bit like a UU doesn't it? We'll see.

"Structural Deficiencies"

On 04 Aug, 2007 By mpm

It has become somewhat of a meme, that phrase, taken from reports about the bridge that collapsed in Minnesota. Of course, like many things for us, it takes a big disaster like this to wake us up to the realities: twenty seven years of fiscally conservative, largely trickle-down economics (Clinton didn't significantly change anything), and the focus on the military-industrial complex has meant that our entire infrastructure, the things that we depend on every day, like roads and bridges and schools and hospitals are all full of structural deficiencies, and are ready to collapse. But, of course there is more. Our American society as a whole is full of structural deficiencies. Structural deficiencies in priorities, in compassion, and in awareness. We all fiddling while our Rome burns. It is, of course, burning. It's been burning for a while now.  I think we're finally beginning to really feel the heat. In a pessimistic moment, I hear people say "here's a wake up call," and I think "how many of these do we need?" We've had a gazillion already. But then, I think perhaps it's like those mornings when you don't want to get up, and you hit the snooze button over and over, until, at some point, you realize it really is time to wake up.

Just finished Harry Potter

On 29 Jul, 2007 By mpm

I just finished Harry Potter: The Deathly Hallows. I won't post any spoilers here. It was a good book, a fun and engaging read, full of the standard JK Rowling mysteries and puzzles and twists and turns. But it was, in the end incredibly predictable. Which is OK, I guess. But I haven't understood all of the hype around it, and the spoiler warnings, etc. The ending is rather predictable, as most fantasy stories are. If you want to borrow my copy, it's available.

Moving again ...

On 20 Jul, 2007 By mpm With 1 Comments

I know, it seems like just a few weeks ago that we were unpacking the relocubes, dealing with snow, moving bookshelves and furniture, putting up pictures and all of that stuff. It was actually 5 months ago, but that time has flown. We decided, for a variety of reasons, to move again. We're moving to Shelburne Falls - a sweet little town on the other side of the river. It's a very  nice place, and our house is going to be in short walking distance to town. It's got a great studio/workshop space that we'll be using (more on those upcoming plans soon.) It's very different than this house, in layout, and in setting, but it feels very right, and what we're really looking for. Interestingly enough, it's owned by our Chi-Gung teacher Zayne, and his wife Moriah, who have been running the School of the Golden Discs there. So the house has interesting history and energy. They've decided to move the school to Colrain. It also seems like the graces are in our favor - we found a probable buyer of our house before it was even listed! There may be a bit of rearranging things timewise - they want to move in before we are probably able to move into the new house, but we have faith that it will all work out. It will be nice to live somewhere that isn't a 20+ minute drive to everything - where most things we need (except the occasional major grocery shopping trip, etc.) is in walking distance. Oh, and did I mention, real broadband, instead of the sorry excuse for broadband that is satellite internet? And our cell phones will work, too.

Stark Realities

On 05 Jul, 2007 By mpm

This July 4th it seems that the way people are responding to the Bush presidency is to refer back to the Declaration of Independence. And, if you read it, thinking instead of our "king" George, instead of the old King George, it is actually rather striking. First Draft has done the work for us - by linking to news stories that connect to the things he's done. Keith Olbermann has a wonderful special commentary about the commutation of the sentence of Scooter Libby. I hate to think about what's next. Especially since it seems that the new Democratic congress doesn't seem to really be flexing its muscle.

Journeys

On 01 Jul, 2007 By mpm

Being at the US Social Forum has been giving me lots of food for thought. It's not as much because of the content of the workshops, but because of what identities I have brought with me to the different sessions. In the one I gave, my identity was as an free and open source software advocate. In the panel I was on, I was a progressive faith blogger (and secondarily, a techie with blogging technology expertise.) At another workshop I attended I was mostly just myself, with a little bit of the faith blogger. At yet another workshop, I was a member of a nonprofit organization that needed to think about fundraising. All of which has made me think a lot about the journeys I've been taking over the last few months, and where those journeys might be leading. It also made me think more about what I wanted to write about here, and what I wanted this blog to be. I was inspired by the workshop done by the Network of Spiritual Progressives. Their perspective - that the huge social change that is necessary to steer us as a species away from the course we are now on requires spiritual awakening - is one that I have basically agreed with for quite a while. And it's made me think about what my perspectives on social change really are. That's another journey - my activist journey, from anti-nuclear activist in the 80s through the different movements I was a part of (gay rights, AIDS, pro-choice, prison issues, anti-war, etc.) One of the memes of the progressive Christian community is the notion of "living the questions" - that the most important questions of our lives don't have easy answers, and the only way we actually can answer them is by living them. I think that's part of what I want to think and talk more about - how do I live the question of what that spiritual awakening underneath social and political change would look like? How would I manifest that in my own life?

Strange Bedfellows

On 30 Jun, 2007 By mpm

Today is the last day of the social forum workshops. Since I've been "off duty" both in terms of tech stuff, and in terms of doing workshops, I've been wandering around to different workshops. I went to a good workshop I'll talk about in more detail in the next post. It's been very interesting - a quite intriguing mix of people and perspectives and attitudes about social change. One of the fascinating things that is going on is that the USSF is overlapping at the Westin with a National American Miss pageant. Specifically, they will be crowning Miss Georgia ... (pre-teen, etc.) So, at the same time as all of these activists in birkenstocks and piercings and casual clothing are walking about, there are this perfectly coiffed mothers and daughters wearing extremely excessive amounts of pink. It reminds me of the year I went to the National Women's Studies Association conference in Oklahoma City, and we were overlapping with the national cheerleading camp. The elevators in the Westin have been a challenge (too many people, and too few elevators) - but the mix of people at and in the elevators today has lead to some awkward silences (in comparison to earlier, when almost everyone was from the Social Forum, and there were the standard "so where are you from" exchanges while waiting for elevators, which takes forever.) It is an opportunity, I think, for practicing compassion for people who are choosing to live very different lives, rather than derision, which, I have to admit, is my first impulse.

Social Forum Musings

On 29 Jun, 2007 By mpm

I've been at the Social Forum now for a few days, and I have some observations. I haven't been to a huge number of sessions (3 so far, I expect to get to a few more before the close.) And, two of those sessions I was involved in, so it's hard to make much of a pattern out of that. But there have been some very interesting conversations, and I do feel like people are looking for some new avenues and strategies for change. Which feels good. I gave a short talk about my own experience with blogging - I was on a panel about blogging with Brad Friedman (of BradBlog), BobFitrakis (of the Columbus Free Press), and Matthew Cardinale (from the Atlanta Progressive News.) They were, of course, real investigative journalists. My perspective was that primarily as a progressive faith blogger, and a techie. It was interesting to talk a bit about being a "progressive faith blogger" (am I that?) and the organization of progressive faith bloggers. I got lots of blank stares, and a few perky looks. I would not quite say that part of the conversation went over like a lead balloon, but I got the definite impression that it was something that hadn't been on most people's radar. It would be interesting to have been able to talk to people perhaps more in depth about their perspectives on that whole thing. In talking afterwards with people, I talked with someone who had her own blog (the christian environmentalist). In general, the crowd here at the social forum is, well, familiar. It's that interesting mix of people with garish t-shirts that have outrageous (or not so outrageous) slogans, aging dyed-in-the-wool activists, and professional activists and union organizers. There is a very large contingent of people from Atlanta, especially African Americans. It is a very, very diverse crowd, which I know was the point - the primary organizers of this forum are part of organizations that primarily focus their work on communities of color. It is also pretty chaotic. Sometimes, here at the Westin where I'm staying, between sessions, it can take 10 or more minutes before an elevator that isn't full arrives to take you up or down floors. Things are spread out enormously.  But in the chaos, there is, it seems some comraderie, and shared sense of purpose, which feels nice.

Watching the left

On 28 Jun, 2007 By mpm

I'm at the US Social Forum in Atlanta, GA right now. I arrived on Tuesday, and have spent the last couple of days as part of the tech team, helping work on the technology infrastructure. For the next few days (I'm leaving on Sunday,) I'll be doing my sessions, and going to others. It will be definitely a different pace than earlier. One of the things I'm noticing is how although this forum, which is the first of its kind, is meant to be a kind of coming together of many different people doing many different kinds of work, it has a feeling that is so familiar to me about lefty gatherings - a lot of people who are so caught up and invested in the ways they are different, that it's difficult for people to work together for common goals. It does seem, from looking at the workshop listings, that some folks are trying to bridge some interesting gaps. But there also seems to be a lot of the same-old identity politics (\<insert snoring sound here>). What I'm looking for is some consciousness of people's own reactivities and attitudes, and a willingness to own stuff that's their own. It's only a process of that sort that will allow a real coming together of people with different priorities and perspectives for common good.

Clarity, and prayers not answered

On 20 Jun, 2007 By mpm

Life is so interesting sometimes. I had an interesting weekend in the realm of directions my life could have, or might have taken. First, I found out that the Center for Contemplative Mind, an organization I have admired from close up, and from afar for years, is searching for a new ED. It's a great organization that does fantastic work in the world. I had a moment (well, no, I had about an hour) of angst. Maybe this was really the job I wanted. I looked at the job description, thought about what I was doing, and what I'd have to give up, and realized, with real clarity, that I was doing right now exactly what I wanted to do. I like the work I do, I have amazing freedom. I just took off a week to write in May, and I'll be taking off another week to write in July - and I expect to do that with some regularity. And Ruth and I are likely going to spend a month in Latin America in December - these are things I could not do if I had a real job. and, I like doing the work I do. I've been doing work directly with organizations, and not with code and databases, which has been fun, and a relief. I've been doing more and more technical writing, which I enjoy. It has it's downsides, of course. Self-employment tax, footing my own health insurance bill, not always knowing when that next client is going to arrive.

The second interesting part of the weekend was to find out that the person who got the job I didn't get (I won't name the org here, go look it up in the archives if you're really curious) got laid off recently, just a couple of months after they got hired. Now, of course, I don't know the whole story - but it makes me happy that I didn't get that job after all. That would have been such a disaster. It makes me feel that somehow, I'm being looked after. Not that I believe in that sort of God that actually pays attention and mucks around in my life - no. But that somehow life's twists and turns, even though they are hard to trust close up, smooth out from further away.

What is leadership?

On 12 Jun, 2007 By mpm

Some current events are making me think a lot about leadership. I've been (and am) a leader in a variety of contexts, and perhaps I haven't thought a lot about, or articulated, what I think leadership is, and means. But some recent events in a community I care deeply about have made me reflect on this, and be much more conscious about the ways I am a leader.

I have been involved in the Linuxchix community (a community focused around fostering and supporting women in Linux and open source) since 2000, which, of course, is eons ago in internet time. I have been around for controversies big and small (or small controversies made big, which seems endemic in electronic communities.) I have met many 'chix face-to-face, and count some as friends. I have found help for my varied and sundry Linux and open source technical issues, and I have helped others with theirs. They have heard both my experiences with varied Linux distributions, as well as my experiences in seminary, and with partners old and new. I have received so much from this community, and I have given what I have been able. It has been a fixture in my daily life for a long time, and so the situation that faces us now as a community is affecting me greatly.

At this moment, a very significant proportion of long-time volunteers of Linuxchix (leaders in their own right) have become disaffected with the present (newly appointed) coordinator of Linuxchix. The process by which that happened, and the way it is playing out, is making me think a lot about what leadership is (and isn't) - and about how it has failed for this community. I don't want to give a review of what has happened - I'm sure others will - but I want to reflect some on what I'm taking away from this situation.

Leadership is a role to be taken with great seriousness, as well as with great openness - leadership is more like an open hand than it is a like a closed fist. Leadership is as much listening as it is talking. There are times when leadership is just that - pushing forward, being out on the edge, setting the agenda, and getting things done. Linuxchix needs plenty of that. But there are just as many times when being a leader means following. It means listening to what people are saying, answering questions honestly, taking a moment to stop and ask questions before taking precipitous actions - or being willing to reconsider actions that some express concern about after the fact. Being a leader means being willing to admit that you've made a mistake, moved in a wrong direction, and are willing to do a course correction.

Being a leader isn't easy. I know that it's something I've resisted a fair bit over the years, even though I've learned that I'm pretty good at it. But I didn't get good at it without a lot of mistakes along the way. I hope that the present coordinator can find her way clear to a place of being the kind of leader this community really needs - open, responsive, willing to admit mistakes, and more of a listener than a talker.

Writing Retreat, moving this blog, and other varied things

On 29 May, 2007 By mpm With 2 Comments

This week, I'm on "vacation" - it feels a bit strange to take a vacation from a "job" I only started a month ago or so. But I decided that now was the best time to take some days off to write, before a big project that I'll be working on will get going full steam. Well, actually, I'm editing, not really writing. I am finally going to finish editing the novel I wrote last summer, and print up copies to send around to people that have been waiting far too long for it. I have a list of names of people to send it to, but if you are interested in getting one, let me know. I'm happy to get any feedback that I can.

Next week sometime (or perhaps eariler, if I want a break from editing) I'll be moving this blog off of typepad, and onto WordPress - great open source blog software that I can put on my virtual host, and stop paying Typepad, which will be nice. Two years ago when I moved the blog to Typepad, I other blog software wasn't really ready enough for me, since I wanted to focus on the writing, and not the technology. Wordpress has advanced, and will allow me to still focus on writing. And save some bucks in the meantime. Good thing.

I've been pondering a lot the role of this blog. My technology blog is very focused, and has a good audience. This blog has a much smaller audience, and, of course, is a lot less focused. I still want to keep it going, but I'm pondering about the directions in which I might take it.

Spring has finally sprung here in the valley - our forsythias have now gone by, our lilacs are in full bloom, and the mosquitos are out in full force. The bugs here are ferocious! We've resorted to buying all sorts of poisons to spray on ourselves - lest we be completely bereft of blood, and covered with bites. Actually, we are already covered with bites. 

Christian Kindness

On 15 May, 2007 By mpm With 2 Comments

Jerry Falwell died today. The progressive religious blogosphere is full of Christian kindness.

But, of course, he did not share this Christian kindness towards people like us. This is the man who blamed gays for AIDS, who said ""I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'" and "[Homosexuals are] brute beasts...part of a vile and satanic system [that] will be utterly annihilated, and there will be a celebration in heaven."

This is a man who, at the same time as he professed to be a spokesperson for Christianity, certainly didn't really ask the question WWJD (what would Jesus do?) I just finished reading The Last Week by John Dominic Crossan and Marcus Borg. In it, based upon the Gospel of Mark, Borg and Crossan make it so clear that Jesus was a religious and political activist, working to upend the Roman domination system that was actively supported by the temple hierarchy, and that's why he was executed. And Falwell was working on erecting a Christian theocracy which would be the kind of domination system Jesus would have fought against.

We didn't just disagree with him. We are willing, because of our philosophy of life and governance, to allow people like him to speak. In fact, we would fight so that he could speak. Meanwhile, he would have rather wiped us off the map. I don't really ever know what to do with that disparity.

Christian kindness is a good thing, but I would rather the progressive religious blogosphere had decided to have some moments of silence, instead.

Seen on Freecycle

On 14 May, 2007 By mpm

I love Freecycle. It's an amazing community of people who give and get things that they need for free. When I left the valley in 2005, I "freecycled" (it's becoming a verb!) a lot of stuff. And, in moving back, we've gotten a lot of very useful stuff lately on freecycle - a nice grill, some varied furniture. We've also given a fair bit of stuff away. It's a great way to get things you need or want, and a great way to give away things that you don't need or want, without them going to the landfill. Anyway, today, this came across freecycle - and it's by far the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

[\ From: xxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com\ Subject:[FreecycleAmherst] WANTED: Husband\ Date: May 14, 2007 10:42:21 AM EDT\ To:freecycleamherst]{style="font-family:monospace;"}

[\ Looking for something soft and plushy, not worn out. Must be in good shape, and from a non-smoking household. My current husband is so old and tired and needs replacing. I'll take any color - I'm not picky. Husband will be used mainly to lie down on the bed with. Surely you have one of these just kickin' around the house you dont need anymore?]{style="font-family:monospace;"}

Update: It turns out, this is for a "Husband Pillow!" (Didn't know these things existed.)

My letter to The Nation

On 10 May, 2007 By mpm With 1 Comments

I've been a reader of The Nation on and off over the past 20 years or so. I've subscribed several times. These days, I pick it up once a month or so at newstands to read it (because I can't keep up with it weekly.) I picked up this week's Nation, and Alexander Cockburn had a column, called "Is Global Warming a Sin?" It was such an atrocious article, I felt I needed to write a letter to them.

Here's my letter:

So I'm assuming Alexander Cockburn's column on carbon credits is mostly a joke. Certainly, the part about the carbon credit trade was serious. Buying carbon credits does certainly serve to make people feel better, without a whole lot of evidence yet that it works. It might work, but it probably won't.

However, I'm assuming the rest of the column, suggesting that human-caused global climate change is a hoax, is a joke. The same kind of joke that one might play on April fool's - suggesting, for instance, that the theory of evolution is a hoax. Or, perhaps, that the world is flat (really, it is, if you look all the way out to the horizon, you don't see any curvature! How can it be round?)

It's not worth spending my effort to describe in detail the mass of data that shows the role of human activity on the climate. Others perhaps have done that. Scientists have reached a consensus that human beings have caused the current change in climate and CO2. Picking out one single graph, to suggest that this graph invalidates the huge mountain of other data is absurd. Suggesting scientific expertise by his discussion of CO2 and the atmosphere doesn't make a difference. Alexander Cockburn isn't a scientist, and there are virtually no reputable scientists left who don't think that human activities have caused current increases in CO2 and temperature.

Human caused global climate change is, in many scientists' opinions, a threat to the very survival of human beings on the planet, at worst. At best, it will kill, and disrupt the lives of millions of people, mostly poor, in all parts of the world. And this is mostly due to the lifestyles of us here in the United States. If you are going to continue to print Alexander Cockburn's series suggesting that the idea that humans are changing the climate is a hoax, I'm going to stop reading The Nation. It no longer counts as a reliable progressive voice.

Buying Used Sousaphones for New Orleans

On 28 Apr, 2007 By mpm

I mentioned that now and again I'd have a guest blogger. A friend of mine has a new passion, and here are the details.

By Julie Melrose

There are many things I envisioned doing in my lifetime. Buying used sousaphones for musicians in New Orleans was never one of them. But the floodwaters of Katrina changed the course of many lives, albeit some much more directly than others. So here I am in New England, almost two years later, giving myself a crash course in purchasing used low brass instruments---including those strange, clumsy tubas that curl like giant shiny snails around the bodies of the street and club musicians of The Crescent City.

Like the person you meet and instantly cannot imagine not having known, I entered the Tipitina's Music Co-op by cyberspace a couple of months ago on a quick errand, and seem to have settled in for the long haul to see what I can do to help NOLA's returning working musicians---although I do not recall ever making a conscious decision to do so.

I discovered the Co-op's musical instrument recycling program through a simple internet search, while looking for a place that would fix up my late father's old decrepit trumpet and give it to a musician who had lost one in Katrina.

My father was an ardent jazz fan who spent many happy hours listening to live music in New Orleans, and recordings of that music back at home in Massachusetts. When my mother and I scattered his ashes in the woods in spring of 2005, we did it NOLA jazz funeral style, playing slow brass band processional music on the way to the site my father had chosen, and a jubilant version of "When The Saints Go Marching In" on the way back to the car.

I was glad my father had not witnessed the destruction of New Orleans, but felt quite sure that had he been alive when NOLA's levees were breached, he would have sent his trumpet to the Gulf Coast along with his financial donation.

So when the desire to carry out my father's intentions grew bigger than my need to hang onto everything material that had belonged to him, I took that old musty case out of my closet and searched the web until I found a place in New Orleans that would accept donations of "musical instruments in any condition."

That place was the Co-op, located above the original uptown Tipitina's nightclub. The workers' cooperative is a shoestring-funded program of the nonprofit Tipitina's Foundation (www.tipitinasfoundation.org), the mission of which is to restore the musical culture of New Orleans. It is doing so primarily by replacing the thousands of school band instruments that were lost or ruined in the flood, and by providing office facilities, community resource referrals, recycled instruments and music business skills training to working musicians returning to the region.

The Co-op's instrument recycling program collects donated musical instruments in playable or reparable condition, has them repaired (often with labor donated by instrument technicians), and recycles them to working musicians in need of instruments to go back to work. Musicians who receive replacement instruments and skills training through the Co-op show an average 28% increase in music-related income, according to a City of New Orleans economic study.

Musical instrument recycling is a concept that just makes sense, and not only in New Orleans. Throughout the U.S., thousands of musical instruments end up in landfills when owners decide against expending money on repairing them.

There are literally hundreds of thousands of instruments sitting idle in closets, basements and attics---which isn't good for either people or instruments, since instruments deteriorate with lack of use, and richen when they are played regularly. Many of these surplus instruments were played in school band and orchestra programs, or as part of adolescent creative exploration, and have outlasted their owners' musical interests.

As I have talked with people as a volunteer instrument collector for the Co-op, I have found that many feel guilty about having these unplayed instruments, and are delighted to learn about a place where they are truly needed and will be put to good use.

Putting recycled instruments in the hands of NOLA musicians has a surprisingly wide ripple effect. Because the economy of New Orleans is largely built on tourism, and the tourist industry there is largely built on musical entertainment, restoring the unique musical culture of New Orleans---upon which crucial aspects of U.S. and world musical culture were built---also restores the economic well-being of New Orleans, as well as helping to restore the emotional and spiritual well-being of its returning residents.

With the reduction in landfill deposits, the savings of the energy and materials needed to produce new musical instruments, the creative and employment boost to New Orleans musicians, the charitable giving opportunity offered to instrument owners, the economic benefits of rebuilding tourism in a devastated region, and the restoration of a crucial part of U.S. musical culture, the Co-op instrument recycling program is truly a multi-dimensional version of a "win-win" situation.

Smaller instruments like clarinets, flutes and trumpets have proven comparatively easy to procure. But even low-end large low brass instruments cost several thousand dollars each when purchased new, and are generally owned by organizations rather than individuals. If there are people who have extra sousaphones sitting around in the back of their closets, the Co-op hasn't found them yet!

So these days, as I sit at my desk in the course of my other work, I find my attention wandering to web sites where one might find used sousaphones, and putting together donors' groups of kind souls willing to make modest contributions toward rescuing these precious forgotten giants from auction houses for a worthy cause.

The first collective sousaphone purchase was recently made by the seven members of what I fondly refer to as The Ladies' Sewing Circle & Sousaphone Society (with a bow to a classic women's movement T-shirt with a slightly less benign slogan). It went to a second-generation NOLA entertainer. One member of the Society dedicated her donation to her niece, a brave young woman who is learning to play the tuba. Donations ranged in size from \$10 to \$60, and each was essential to the happy outcome.

The second sousaphone purchase followed shortly thereafter, with the instrument going to a woman street musician whose apartment was looted after she had to evacuate.

Donations are now being sought for the third and fourth group sousaphone purchases, since two suitable fixer-uppers will be available only a couple of days from now. With donated shipping and professional instrument restoration already in place, acquiring the actual instruments (at an anticipated cost of under \$700) is the only missing link in giving two NOLA musicians the tools they need to return to employment.

Please contact me at girlbanjoistsrule@yahoo.com if you are interested in making a modest contribution toward an upcoming sousaphone purchase, or would like more information about the musical instrument recycling program of the Tipitina's Music Co-op. All financial and used instrument donations are fully tax deductible, with a "thank you" letter on Tipitina's Foundation letterhead documenting your donation.

The shipping address for donations of used musical instruments in reparable condition is:\ Mark Fowler\ Tipitina's Music Co-op\ 501 Napoleon Avenue\ New Orleans, LA 70115

Co-op manager Mark Fowler can be reached by email at mfowler@tipitinas.com, or by phone at (504) 891-0580. As this year's New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival miraculously kicks off two weekends of festivities, I thank you in advance for helping to restore the unique musical culture of New Orleans.

Links, etc.

On 26 Apr, 2007 By mpm

As you've probably noticed - I've not been posting much, here. Mostly, it's because I've been very busy continuing to settle in, and to start my new technology advising practice, called MetaCentric Technology Advising. I've been blooging up a storm on Zen and the Art of Nonprofit Technology.

I've been thinking a lot about what's happening in the world, at the same time as I'm thinking a lot about my own spiritual journey, and looking to find a spiritual community. There will be more on those things in a while, I'm sure. In the meanwhile, I thought I'd share some links today.

• The National Coalition Against the Death Penalty issued a report that seems to definitively prove what we've known all along: innocent people get executed.
• The Governor of Oregon spent a week on food stamps
• Keith Olbermann delivers a stinging rebuke (in his inimical style) to Rudy Juliani, who used fearmongering in a campaign speech.
• Stephen Colbert digs Bush on global warming
• The Evangelical Ecologist has their Carnival celebrating Earth Day
• The National Council of Churches has resources and such for "Earth Day Sunday." This year's theme: "The Food that Sustains Us"
• Also in honor of Earth Day: get a toolbar for your computer that helps you save CO2.
• Hugh talks to God.
• The Archdruid talks about the religion of progress and peak oil

Changes and resurrections

On 08 Apr, 2007 By mpm With 2 Comments

All of my progressive Christian blogger colleagues, and all of my old seminary friends are in church this morning, celebrating, in one way or another, the literal, or metaphorical, or the somewhere-in-between resurrection of Jesus. I'm sitting in my hotel room, after 4 long days of being at a conference, doing a lot of thinking.

This conference, called the "Nonprofit Technology Conference" is one I've been attending (except the last two years, when I was preparing for, or in, seminary) for 7 years. It's changed a lot over that time, and it certainly is food for thought in a larger scale about how the field of nonprofit technology has changed, and how my own position within it has changed over time. But that's a blog entry for my other blog. This entry is about my own inner, personal changes.

I have come to realize, after this very difficult and challenging 7 months (and the last couple of months have been excruciating) while deciding to leave seminary and losing sight of the shore for a while, that I've been searching my whole life for the context and community that would fit me perfectly. A context that would make total sense to me, that I could live within, that I could work within, and that I could be totally satisfied with. Whether it be a karmic issue I'm trying to work out, a result of childhood hurts, my personality and odd set of characteristics, or all of the above, I've tried, and failed, to find that context, that community, over, and over, and over again. This has manifested itself both in the changes in my work life, as well as my search for spiritual community, and, more recently, in the way I had tried to find both at the same time. And, of course, what is true is that community, that context doesn't exist and never will. Every community and context I can be a part of will be unsatisfying in one way or another. I highlighted "satisfied" and "unsatisfying" because it connects with the Buddhist concepts of dukka, or suffering. It is that the present moment can be unsatisfying, and our uncomfortableness with that, and yearning for something that will satisfy us, that will cause us suffering.

At lunch at the conference one day, an old friend of mine and I had been having a conversation about whether or not the condition of humanity had gotten better, worse, or was about the same that it had been a few hundred years ago. We happened to be sitting next to a man who was a Catholic priest or monk (I'm not sure which - he was a part of a large order of brothers) who said, basically "only God knows." Which I thought was pretty wise. After the conversation wandered around a bit, where we were talking about how we knew we were making things better, he said "I just do the best that I can with what I have, and hope that I've done some good." It was very down to earth, pragmatic, and seemed to be just the words I needed to hear this week.

This morning, I can feel a bit of the spirit of Easter, even though I'm not in church. I feel like I might perhaps be seeing sign of the shore finally. And the shore is simply the deep (more than the intellectual) understanding that I will rather often find parts of life unsatisfactory, and a fuller acceptance of that. And somehow, perhaps simply by grace, that deep understanding opens up my eyes to see the possibilities in life, the space for change and growth, the places of resurrection that are available to each of us at every moment.

To get a job, or to not get a job ...

On 27 Mar, 2007 By mpm

... is that the question?

As I mentioned in a previous blog entry a while ago, I applied for a "real job" - the first "real job" I'd applied for since I applied to teach at Hampshire College in 1989 (academia is only arguably "real" - if that doesn't count, it's the first "real job" I ever applied for.) I found out today that I didn't get that job (it was for the Executive Director of the Maezumi Institute.) When I first saw the job advertisement, it almost seemed like someone had designed the job for me and my relatively unique set of skiils - it combined education with activism with spirituality, and other things. I would have enjoyed it. But, the job obviously wasn't really designed for me. I wish the person who did get the job all the best. I'd love to see the Institute flourish.

I hadn't expected to apply for a job at all - I was continuing to do technology consulting, even though it felt somewhat unsatisfying. I was "working" part time coordinating NOSI (the quotes are due to the lack of remuneration, not the lack of work,) which I am still doing. The process of applying for this particular job was, in some ways, useful, although excruciating. Why excruciating? Because it made it much more clear to me the kinds of things I want to be doing, and the directions I want to be going. It made it so clear, in fact, that I decided to stop doing technology consulting, to open up time and focus for other things. And it also made clear that there is what feels like an overwhelming obstacle course between me and those things.

The obstacles are of my own making, of course. It's my own unique set of doubts, misconceptions and illusions. My very own personal ball of suffering. There is nothing quite like feeling suspended in mid air, not really feeling like you know how it is you are supposed to get from here, to where you are meant to be going. Talk about twisting in the wind.

I remember vividly, when starting seminary, and hearing so many people talk about their "call" to ministry - the sense of clarity I had, and the sense of knowing I was in the right place. There is still, a clear sense of real knowing of where I'm supposed to be. But unlike just going to seminary, I haven't figured out yet how to get there from here. And I can't help thinking that probably, what's true is that aphorism in a Maine accent "you can't get there from here..." there are other places that I yet need to go before I get to where ever it is I'm supposed to be going.

Sysephean tasks

On 16 Mar, 2007 By mpm

[{width="300" height="225"} Photo by]{style="font-size: 10pt;"}[ QFamily]{style="font-size: 10pt;"}[\ ]{style="font-size: 0pt;"}\ As you know if you live on the East Coast - it's snowing. A lot. We just went out to shovel our walk, and a bit of the driveway, and by the time we'd finished one pass, it was time to start shoveling again.

It is beautiful, though. The trees are picking up the snow, and have that winter wonderland look about them. But now, as it gets dark, and the snow is flying furiously - it kind of looks like a blizzard. We already decided we needed to out before bed and shovel again. But we're supposed to get 11 to 15 inches tonight, then sleet and freezing rain on top of the snow early tomorrow morning. What fun.

But, we remembered we're warm, have wood for the fireplace, lots of food, and books, and things to keep us occupied while we're snowed in. So that makes us very fortunate.

Paradox

On 04 Mar, 2007 By mpm

There is an interesting paradox that I have been thinking a lot about lately. It's one that I've been exposed to in many different spheres - personal growth, social activism, and organizational dynamics. It's the paradox that it's necessary to hold two apparently opposing views about a difficult situation: a deep and complete acceptance that a situation exists as it is in the present moment, as well as a passion to change it.

Often times, especially in activist circles, "accept" feels like "condone." If we accept that, for instance, innocent people are being killed in Iraq today by the US, isn't that condoning it? But, acceptance of something is totally possible without condoning something. We have no real choice but to accept that this is happening now, or that people don't have what they need to survive, or that we're in environmental peril. It doesn't mean we are codoning it - it just means that we deeply know they are happening, and accept that it is happening now.\

And the passion for change - I've found that, in many personal situations, the way to change something comes from acceptance. Once I fully accept a situation for how it is, the way to change it becomes much more apparent to me, than when I just wanted it to go away.

Wanting a situation to go away is neither accepting it, nor, really, a passion to change it. It's a kind of magical wishful thinking, that, in my experience, doesn't really get anywhere, and, in a Buddhist paradigm, leads to suffering.

Paradoxes have always been of interest to me, because I think it is within paradoxes that we often find truth. This is another one of them.

Venus Magazine, Part 2

On 02 Mar, 2007 By mpm

So, it appears there is a bit of new juice coming out of the Venus Magazine story that I blogged about last month. I noticed this because the search terms "Venus Magazine" jumped up in my stats when I looked today, and that blog entry became the second most popular. Also, I was interviewed yesterday by someone who writes for Curve magazine. She's writing a story about the change in Venus Magazine.

Some new coverage in the internet world has come out since I wrote about this. Ex-gay watch, a blog I'd not known about before, had a story, with some more information in it that is pretty interesting (like an organization getting 200 unsolicited copies of the magazine.) LifeSite News, a Canadian pro-life, pro-Christian news site, has a very positive story about the change in the magazine. Southern Voice, a gay website from Atlanta, has a story which fills in some of the history of Venus Magazine that I hadn't known (the mag was named after a lesbian who was murdered.)

There are quite a number of blog posts about it - it seems mostly in the category of "see what God can do!" There seems to be a lot of chatter in the conservative Christian blogosphere about this. (By the way, there is another Venus magazine - a women's indie music/culture magazine - so don't get too confused)

I don't know what the fallout of this will be, eventually. Ex-gay watch has a question about "whether Cothran has received new funding as a result of her new-found ex-gay identity..." That's something to ponder.

What this blog will be for the 2008 election season

On 02 Mar, 2007 By mpm

I was reading a Salon piece about a blogger who refused to blog for the Edwards campaign. I imagine you heard about the brouhaha around Amanda Marcotte, who was, quite briefly, an Edwards campaign blogger.

In parallel, I had to fill out the Shutesbury town listing for our household, which includes a line about "Occupation," which stopped me cold. What is my occupation, really? I'm not a student as of December. I'm not really a technology consultant anymore (more on that in a future post). I'm opening myself up to think much more about working with people either individually or in groups in spiritual capacities. I'm wanting to do a lot more writing. I coordinate NOSI, but I'm not sure how to categorize that work (nonprofit management? cat herding? preaching?) Surprisingly, I applied for a "real" job (more on that too, in a future post.) So, I put down "blogger." (I imagine the Shutesbury town person is going to have a laugh at that one.)

Actually, there are increasing numbers of people who are, for their livelihoods, bloggers. The line between journalism and blogging is getting thinner.  I've never actually made any money blogging (although I am considering putting a 'tip jar' on my blogs), but I guess, at this moment in time, it's as much my "occupation" as anything else I'm doing.

So what are my plans for the coming presidential election? I've never been a purely political blogger. And I've also never been a pure partisan. I have almost always voted Democratic (when I didn't, it was Green, or Democratic Socialist, or some such.) The democratic primary is always way more interesting than the actual election - because at least there are often some candidates in the primary that are much closer to my perspective than the final nominee is. As a progressive faith blogger, I'm going to try and weave in the issues that are important to me, and the ways that the candidates address (or, much more often, don't address) the issues that are important to me. I also want to talk about what's not being talked about. How the candidates never really talk about what really is at issue.

I hope it will be fun, and informative, and will give you a little different spin on the candidates and the election process than what you'll find elsewhere. Anyway, my first post on the Democratic candidates is coming up soon...

DaVinci Code rewarmed

On 01 Mar, 2007 By mpm

People say they "know the truth" about Jesus and the press hypes it. Christians get up in arms because this "truth" goes against their belief. Actual real authorities in the field suggest that this "truth" isn't supported by any real evidence.

The DaVinci Code? No. The DaVinci Code rewarmed. Recently, a documentary filmmaker takes the old news (ossuaries found in 1980 in Jerusalem) and decides that the idea that Jesus married Mary Magdalene, and had a child, was, well, so compelling, that they'd twist the truth. There were ossuaries found, with the names of Jesus, Mary, and Judas son of Jesus. Sounds mighty convincing, except, well, it's not. An archeologist weighed in:

She said Jesus came from a poor family that, like most Jews of the time, probably buried their dead in ordinary graves. "If Jesus' family had been wealthy enough to afford a rock-cut tomb, it would have been in Nazareth, not Jerusalem," she said.\ \ Magness also said the names on the Talpiyot ossuaries indicate that the tomb belonged to a family from Judea, the area around Jerusalem, where people were known by their first name and father's name. As Galileans, Jesus and his family members would have used their first name and home town, she said.\ \ "This whole case [for the tomb of Jesus] is flawed from beginning to end," she said.

What I find so fascinating about the whole thing is how much it seems to matter to people. Christians who believe in the literal biblical account feel that their faith is being attacked. A lot of people (honestly, me included) think that the idea that Jesus had an actual family life is kinda interesting and worth thinking about, and certainly doesn't, in my mind, take one iota away from the impact of his words. Of course, in the end, it's all about money - the money that the filmmaker and the Discovery channel can wrangle out of advertisers who think (rightly so) that people will watch the documentary, then go out and buy stuff.

Chop wood, carry water

On 21 Feb, 2007 By mpm

There is an old Zen saying, "Before Enlightenment chop wood carry water, after Enlightenment, chop wood carry water." I'm reminded of that as I use a shovel to hack at the piled snow next to the mailbox, so we can get our mail delivered, and take out the garbage, and put up some shelves in the pantry, and ... and ...

There is a lot to do, when setting up as a householder. And it is so easy to get bogged down in the details, and forget what's really important. I'm also reminded of that story in Luke, of Mary and Martha. Martha is all busy with the tasks have having such an important guest in the house, and Mary is just sitting at Jesus' feet, taking in what he is teaching. It's so easy to get caught up in the important tasks, and forget that it's all about  - about being in communion with God.

What's the balance? Sometimes, those tasks are avenues to awakening - being aware of how we feel as we do them - patient, annoyed, tired, in pain. Sometimes we get so caught up in the tasks, and the importance of them, that we forget to be like Mary. It's a challenge finding that balance.

And, as Ruth said this evening - there is always the reminder that although we live in a pretty remote place, and feel kind of snowed in, that we live in amazing luxury and convenience compared to most people in the world.

Things that are the same, things that are different

On 20 Feb, 2007 By mpm

It's been an interesting week, settling in. We got our stuff in the house under the wire, and the relocubes are sitting in the snow, waiting for them to be picked up. My laptop died, causing major angst (I'm using Ruth's computer now.) I'm getting used to seeing the area from Ruth's eyes (she says it's like a theme park for alternative types - all the groovy people at the North Leverett Co-op, the guy selling the futon has pictures of his guru, and the guy selling the hot tub is a crystal healer.)

We're unpacking sloooooowly - things still feel chaotic, and I can't find anything yet. I ran into someone who said "I haven't seen you in a long time! How are you?" He didn't know I'd spent the last 18 months on the other side of the country.

A few things I'd taken for granted (like the big newstand in Northampton next to Table and Vine) are gone, some new things appeared (where did all of those McMansions in North Hadley come from?). It takes a lot longer to get places from Shutesbury (a trip to Northampton takes a good chunk of the day between getting there and getting back, rather than just being a quick trip.) And, I forgot how much time and energy it takes to set up a household, since it had been so long since I'd done it.

But, it's nice to be home. And, once I feel like I have my bearings, and we're more organized, it will be great to start socializing, reorienting to the valley, and having people over for dinner.

Snowed in ...

On 14 Feb, 2007 By mpm With 3 Comments

We've arrived in Massachusetts last weekend, and, finally, we're unpacking. We made it under the wire - unpacked the "relocubes" before the big snow came. We're nice and cozy in our house, unpacking the zillions of boxes. We don't have much furniture - and we had hoped to do some furniture shopping today - but we're not going anywhere.

I'm tired. I'm happy to be home. I'm ready to settle into a regular life again, and be out of the transition mode I've been in since I decided to leave seminary early in late August. And, I'm looking forward to going back to doing some more interesting blogging, albeit without broadband.

North Topsail Beach, war zone, and zone of forgetfulness

On 06 Feb, 2007 By mpm

On the first day we arrived here, at North Topsail Beach, where we are spending some time before we can move into our house in Shutesbury, my partner and I would hear this bumping sound. It was windy that day, and we thought that must be a window that was banging open, or a chair that was banging against something outside. We'd keep hearing it - sometimes it was so loud we could feel it, too. Sometimes, it was several sounds an hour, sometimes hours would go by without the sounds.

We kept hearing it, but basically ignored it, because it wasn't predictable, and we couldn't find out where it came from.

One day, Ruth walked on the beach, and she realized that the sound was still with her - she'd hear them as she walked down the beach. So we realized it wasn't from the house, it was from somewhere else.

It turns out, it's from Camp Lejeune, about 15 miles down the beach from here. They hone their skills at shooting things, from guns and rifles, to missiles.

We never would buy a house here, for a variety of reasons. First, neither of us is attracted a house on the beach, second, the area is, well, pretty whitebread for us. What's also true is that North Topsail Beach is a barrier island, and very precariously placed if there is a hurricane. In 1996, hurricanes Bertha and Fran almost wiped North Topsail off of the map. There were even proposals to abandon it, and make it a park. But since then, there has been a real estate and building boom, with lots and lots of new houses, and more being built every day (they are putting in the pilings for a new house just down the street from this one, as I write this.) Clearly, the lessons of 1996 have been completely forgotten.

So, if one sold real estate here, one should disclose: "You'll hear missiles and bombs going off at all hours of the day and night, and in case of a hurricane, you may no longer have a house to vacation in."

Venus Magazine goes ex-gay

On 06 Feb, 2007 By mpm With 3 Comments

I've never subscribed to Venus Magazine - but I'd grabbed a couple of copies over time. Venus Magazine used to be the "Advocate" for the Black gay and lesbian community. In general queer magazines aren't something I've found especially interesting or useful for me, although I'd buy one or another now and again. I'm generally not interested in the latest gossip on Ellen or one or another actress in the L Word, or the next gay travel hot spot. But, Venus was, I think, significant in its focus and approach. Although I didn't subscribe, I was happy that it existed. However, it is now a magazine that helps you become ex-gay:

The new mission of Venus Magazine is to encourage, educate and assist those who desire to leave a life of homosexuality. Our ultimate mission is to win souls for Christ, and to do so by showing love to all God's people. We believe that homosexuality is outside of the will of God. We know that many new and longtime VENUS readers have been instilled with a belief system that is in line with this teaching but are still living 'in the life'. Many desire change and wonder if they can be accepted into the family of God 'just as they are'. The answer is YES! These readers will find the new Venus an anointed and refreshing tool for kingdom work.

This mission statement is contradictory. It says, on one hand, that "homosexuality is outside of the will of God" then, on the other, says that people "can be accepted into the family of God 'just as they are'". I could go into a lot of detail into why this is all a problematic statement (like there really is no clear biblical reason why being gay and doing "kingdom work" need to be in conflict.) But I'll not bother. There have been lots of people who already have explained all of this way more eloquently than I can.

Only a few people have written about the change in the magazine. Windy City Times has a pretty detailed article and interview with Charlene Cothran, the publisher of the magazine, who says she's been "redeemed," and isn't a lesbian anymore.

The blogosphere has been very quiet about it. Daily Dose of Queer picked up on the Windy City Times story, and Pam's House Blend picked up on it. I heard about it on a mailing list. It's all pretty much under the radar. You can be sure if the Advocate, or Curve, went ex-gay, there'd be a blog storm.

Hilary for President? NOT.

On 03 Feb, 2007 By mpm With 1 Comments

I used to like Hillary. I thought it would be really cool to have a woman president. I also loved the fact that one of the first thing she tried to grapple with when her husband was president was universal health care. So I still had a bit of a warm spot in my heart for her.

But as time went on, and as she got more and more hawkish, I got less and less interested. Then, recently, she said that the US should keep open the option of military force against Iran. That was the last straw. I know, many of you had your last straw a good long time ago.

At this point, I'm interested in Obama, although I'm having a hard time imagining he's going to get very far, given the lengths to which some will go to smear him. But I'm thinking that perhaps, John Edwards might be a good bet. He announced his candidacy on You Tube, after all.

Being a Mystic and a Householder

On 02 Feb, 2007 By mpm With 3 Comments

Mystics of all times and all places have often had one thing in common: they have isolated themselves in some way or another from the world. Some, like Catholic cloistered orders, or Buddhist monks, depend on the community to provide them the basics. Sometimes, they do provide themselves the basics, by growing gardens or the like. But most mystics over time have lived apart in some ways or another from "regular" daily life.

This makes sense, of course. It's a lot easier to go into the depths of life and spirit and one's connection with God without worrying when the plumber is going to arrive, or when to schedule the car being fixed, or how the five gazillion work deadlines are going to get done.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. I am a mystic, and my desire to enter into professional ministry was, at some level, a desire to find a way to live my life more fully as a mystic. I had even thought seriously about monastic life. But it appears that my life is going to be the life of a householder.

There are two threads that I'm thinking of relating to this. First is the life of the Hasidim, who I learned about in the Jewish Mysticism class I took last spring, and was reminded of again in a recent post by Rachel. She says:

Hasidism began as a spiritual movement that emphasized prayer, joy, and charity. The Baal Shem Tov, founder of Hasidism, wanted to make God accessible to everyone. He taught that "every day life could be sanctified. That God could be served through everything one did. Eating, working, raising children: even sex could become a spiritual act."

One of the real takeaways I had from that course was that anything we can do in daily life can be a mitzvah if our intentions are toward serving God. Hasidim and Sufis, as Rachel reminds us in her post, both include involvement in the world doing specific kinds of humbling work.

The second thread that I'm thinking of is the relatively recent attempt by Western practitioners of Buddhism to focus on practices (meditation, primarily) that had been previously practiced only by monks. It is true that a daily meditation practice helps me, at least, to stay closer to the ground of what's really important to me. Any daily spiritual practice that I engage in (prayer, singing, etc.) helps as well.

So this will be a journey, for sure. How do I live within a regular life at the same time as keep closely connected to my spirit, and heart? How do I serve good, and God while being a householder, and dealing with the practical issues of that life?

Finally in North Carolina

On 28 Jan, 2007 By mpm

It's been a fairly grueling trip - as well as a deep and wonderful trip. We didn't get a chance to have internet access quite so often, so it's been a few days since I've had a chance to blog. I'm uploading a few new pictures to flickr - but be patient - I'm on dial up! We decided not to stop in New Orleans after all, so we cut our trip short by a day or two (although it had been lengthened by a day or two by the weather in New Mexico and Texas.)

We've made it to North Topsail Island, North Carolina, staying in a house that has wonderful view of the ocean. We'll be here for two weeks - we've found out that we can move into our new house on February 12th. It's nice to slow down, and be in one place for a while. It's going to be our home, before we're really home.

San Antonio

On 24 Jan, 2007 By mpm With 1 Comments

I'm in San Antonio, Texas, warm and dry at a friend of Ruth's. We've had a great, but too brief visit, and we'll be on our way to New Orleans this afternoon - a short driving day today, after a harried day in really bad traffic in West Texas. The pictures of some of it are now up on flickr - so you can get a feeling for what we've been through.

We'll be in New Orleans on Thursday, and in North Carolina sometime over the weekend.

It's been an adventure!

Update: We decided to stay in San Antonio for another night - we're pretty tired, and a rest is a good idea. So, we'll be on our way tomorrow morning.

I'm really digging the hot springs ...

On 22 Jan, 2007 By mpm

It's been a trip so far full of adventures, and things that are new to me. After Mercey Hot Springs and seeing dear friends in Idyllwild, we drove on I-10 through Arizona and New Mexico, and stopped for a brief soak at El Dorado Hot Springs, in Tonopah, AZ. It was great - we had a private pool, and we spent a nice hour in the early evening before heading back on the road for a stint.

We then stopped at the Triangle-T guest ranch, in Texas Canyon in the Dragoon Mountains in AZ, just looking for a place to stay for the night. It has a lot of interesting history (including being a place where Japanese officials were interred during WWII.) We had to go into the saloon to find out if they had any room for the night - it was full of people in cowboy hats dancing to country music.

After that, we went onwards and stopped at Faywood Springs, near Silver City NM. We spend most of the afternoon and stayed in one of their cabins overnight. Very sweet place, and some really nice soaks.

I'm getting to really like hot springs, but sadly, they don't really exist outside of the part of the "Ring of Fire" that's in the Western US.

Stuck in the Snow ...

On 22 Jan, 2007 By mpm

Well, there was a storm in Southern New Mexico. We woke up to a few inches of snow, and expected some slow driving, but we didn't quite expect them to close Interstate 10. So, we're stuck in Deming, New Mexico. It's not terrible, though. We're staying at a chain hotel, with really good WiFi, and it's amazing how easy it is to keep occupied when stuck in a hotel room with nowhere to go.

We expect to get back on the road tomorrow, heading to San Antonio, to visit a friend of Ruth's, then off from there to New Orleans.

Idyllwild, California

On 19 Jan, 2007 By mpm With 1 Comments

Well, we got a great introduction to winter - the morning after we arrived at our friend's house up in Idyllwild (in the San Bernadino Mountains) we were greeted with snow!

We finally got everything packed up, and were ready to leave late Wednesday - and we stayed Wed. night in a place called Mercey Hot Springs. It's a sweet little place in the middle of nowhere, about 2 hours south east of the Bay Area. See the pictures that I just put up on flickr. We left there yesterday, and after a harrowing drive through LA rush hour, arrived up in Idyllwild, to a wonderful welcome, a warm fire, and great conversation.

We're heading out tomorrow morning, to who knows exactly where. We are aiming for San Antonio, to stop and visit a friend of Ruth's, but it will take at least two or three days to get there (Texas is a Big State.)

This is the first day of real down time in a good long time - time without a drive, without stuff to pack, or lug, or errands to run. And I can really feel the fatigue. It will be nice to take a long meandering trip (stopping in neat places along the way) and have a nice restful time in North Carolina, before we head up to Western Mass, to unpack, and settle in. There's lots to think about, and metabolize, plans to hatch, thoughts to think.

Packing, packing, packing...

On 12 Jan, 2007 By mpm With 1 Comments

My to do list is long, the boxes are piled high, and my energy is low. As moves go, though, this one has to be up there as one of the easiest, for sure, of the cross-country moves I've made in my life (this is, basically, the 4th.) It's easier for a variety of reasons - I have a lot less stuff, since I jettisoned so much of it almost two years ago. It's mostly already packed, since I moved just a month ago, I'm moving back "home" which feels great, and last, but certainly far from least, I'm moving as part of a process to create a life with my partner, which makes the move amazingly wonderful and meaningful. So, I'm tired but happy, a little stressed, but calm, and we're getting things accomplished, step by step.

And we have a great trip to look forward to. We're leaving on Tuesday. We start with a stop at some hot springs near Fresno, then, to the mountains of Southern California, then a drive through Arizona and New Mexico, a stop in San Antonio, Texas (and the first time I will have driven through the bulk of Texas), New Orleans (which I haven't seen since before Katrina), then a long stop in North Carolina, before heading up to Massachusetts. I'm actually looking forward to our trip through the south. I've never gone that way before, and somehow, for some reason, I'm curious to see how it is, and how it feels.

We have a long stop in North Carolina because we can't move into our house in Shutesbury until sometime in early February (we actually don't even know when, exactly) so we'll be chilling at a house on the beach (I know, you all have a tiny violin for us.) And there is no broadband there, except when we have occasional forays to a resort close by that has wifi.

So it will be an interesting trip, for sure. Don't expect to see anything more on this blog until we actually get on the road early next week.

It's from God, or it's not

On 07 Jan, 2007 By mpm

annual brouhaha about Pat Robertson's supposed predictions based on what God told him. Except, well, he admits he's been wrong:

In 2005 Robertson predicted that Bush would have victory after victory in his second term. He said Social Security reform proposals would be approved and Bush would nominate conservative judges to federal courts.\ \ Lawmakers confirmed Bush's 2005 nominations of John Roberts and Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. But the president's Social Security initiative was stalled.\ \ "I have a relatively good track record," he said. "Sometimes I miss."

So, his predictions are from God, and have to be always right, or they don't come from God, they come from his head. Or, I guess, worse still (for them), God isn't omniscient?

Sometimes the lack of extremely basic logic among fundamentalists is staggering.

Get in touch

Feel free to reach out. I'd love to hear from you.

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• PO Box 391, Cazadero, CA 95421