Date Added: 2005-05-01
Selling home I finally got an offer I accepted on my condo - this is big. I'm closing on July 1st. It's a relief and very scary at the same time. I'm looking forward to not having the responsibility of a home for a while - I'm looking forward to the simplicity of living in a dorm room (yeah, really). I'm looking forward to divesting myself of most of my stuff. But it's going to be strange not having a real home, a place to call my own for a while. I think I'm ready for it - it's just going to be different.
Great weekend I just spent a really nice weekend at a the UUBF Convocation. It was a great group of people, impeccably organized, great content. I met people I will look forward to seeing again, at other convocations, or GA, which I'm excited to get to go to this year - first time.
Bittorrent I've become a bittorrent fan. It's a great way to get TV shows (since I don't have cable). I tend not to download stuff like movies or software, or that sort of thing, but it really is a great source for TV shows that you might not get to see otherwise. I've watched the new series House, the Daily Show, and the L word. I do have to wait a few days, but it's OK, if I was in a big hurry to see the shows, I'd get cable. :-)
August Cometh I've decided that early August is the time I'll drive across country. I'm spending time in Southern California before I head up north to school in Berkeley. I haven't decided what route to take, although I am well aware that August is HOT, so the southern route might not be quite as attractive as it would be in January. But I'm thinking it might be really nice to drive through the southwest - it's been so long since I've been down there, and I love the landscape. We'll see.
Speaking of Maps... Last thing - if you've been using Mapquest or Yahoo Maps, check out Google Maps. There are some amazingly cool hacks you can do with it. But one very neat thing is the sattelite imagery feature. Check out my new home (the campus is around that little green to the left and slightly down from the pointer.
Date Added: 2005-02-18
California Here I Come By some interesting fluke (I was listening to my iPod on shuffle) on the tail end of my flight from Chicago to Oakland yesterday, the song "California Here I Come" by Sophie B. Hawkins was playing. It's a very nice song - it has some great lyrics "I sleep with both eyes open but I'm just not seeing the forest, let alone the trees. California, here I come, open up your golden arms... my god watch over me ... California here I come." It's from her first album Tongues and Tails. I think of her as one of the less known (but in some ways better) out lesbian singer/songwriters. Anyway, the lyrics seemed to speak to me in that moment, given impending changes, and the chaos that my life feels like right now.
Surrealities Ever had a dozen realtors walk through your house in about 5 minutes flat? It's really weird. Really, really weird. I put my condo on the market, and the first thing that happened was it was "on tour". People are starting to look at it, and it should be interesting to see how long this process takes. It's a bit of a nailbiter.
Scary thing We lefties have been talking about the current government by neo-conservatives as tending toward fascism (some have said it's fascistic already). On one hand, I have taken those warnings to heart, but I wondered whether they were overreactions. Well, of all places the American Conservative has a commentary that should make your hair stand on end. If real conservatives start calling the neo-conservatives fascist, we're in deep, deep sh*t.
Date Added: 2005-02-12
I got the news... I got into Pacific School of Religion - a divinity school in Berkeley, CA. I'm totally excited and happy. I still have interviews at two other schools I'm applying to - but this means that, basically, divinity school is a sure go. I'm going to California next week to visit schools, and take a bit of a break, which is much needed. I feel excited, happy, overwhelmed, and sad all at once. I've been cleaning out my condo in preparation for its viewing by potential buyers. It's a pretty intense process. It's all becoming real.
Date Added: 2005-02-08
Weird transitions
OK, I've heard of stranger things. But here's a really strange one.
Tanya Harding, who used to be a figure skater, has now taken up ...
BOXING. Yes, you heard it here (probably not first.)
Here
is the story. You never know with some people.
Blogs I keep promising myself that I'll do better at updating this blog with my thoughts, ideas, writing, etc. And I keep not doing it. I know I'm falling behind the many much more prolific daily (or hourly) writers in the blogosphere. And I'm hoping that as I transition out of my current situation (with a pretty heavy workload) into a lighter one, perhaps I'll have more time, etc. We'll see.
Global Warming OK, I've decided we're in big trouble. I saw a PBS special, narrated by Alan Alda, on Alaska, and what's happening there. It's rather scary. Alaska, is, in a sense, the canary in a coal mine for the earth. And it's changing really, really rapidly.
I feel like I need to step up on my bumper sticker campaign.
Fun Domains Some of you might have heard of del.icio.us. If you haven't, check it out - it's a "social bookmarking" tool - it's a great way to find new things, and it even has RSS feeds, which is great.
Anyway, being the geek that I am, I was looking for other neat words that end with 'us'. So I registered the domain elirio.us. Coming soon, to a web browser near you, is the website d.elerio.us. Don't hold your breath, though. I need a good idea to launch with it. Maybe I'll just move my blog there. :-)
Date Added: 2004-12-21
Solstice - longest night of the year I seem to find myself in good spirits this solstice - my life seems to be going in the right directions, I'm in pretty good health, I'm happy, basically. It's a hard thing sometimes to balance my own happiness with the knowledge that others are suffering, and that our contry is causing a lot of it.
Storytelling I went to a great story telling festival on Saturday night. There was a group of great storytellers telling stories from all over the world. There was some dancing, a mummer's play, and nice music. It was a really nice night, for all ages. It was held at this amazing house, called The Roundhouse. It's an amazing house. I can imagine how wonderful it would be for a retreat.
Grad school applications... Are almost off! Two have been sent, one more to send, and then the waiting game, pretty much. I do have to fill out financial aid applications and that sort - plenty to keep me busy, but it's really happening! I am so incredibly psyched and amazed. I have an incredibly busy spring ahead of me, between work projects, helping to replace my full time work, preparing to move. It's a big deal. I'm feeling really good about it, though.
Date Added: 2004-11-02
Election Night Hangover No, it wasn't the beer. I got home, after watching the election with friends, about 1:00 AM. Things didn't look especially good then, but it didn't quite look completely hopeless. I had terrible dreams, and now, at 8:00AM, after having been up for almost 2 hours (for those of you that know my habits, that's saying quite a lot), I'm reeling from the very real possibility that at the absolute best, Kerry will win a tainted and questioned victory, but it's most looking about 99% sure that Bush will be re-elected to a second term. Legitimately, this time.
What to do? I think this is likely to be a dark time for us as progressives. The Democrats will go ahead and continue to move their party to the right - that's the only possible solution they will find to the problem. I think the likelihood of a candidate like Hilary Clinton making it in 2008 is pretty unlikely. Overwhelmingly large voter turnout, that didn't help. It's actually pretty scary. So progressives will find ourselves further and further away from the only viable political party for us, at this time. Clearly, third parties on the left haven't worked. Working within the Democratic party hasn't worked. I don't know what's left.
Dude, where's my country? I had the notion that most of the country was actually pretty reasonable. Most of the country didn't like what Bush had been doing in Iraq, most of the country was pretty far to the left of Bush, etc. I hoped/assumed that the massive work on new voter registration and turnout would bring out that vast, "silent majority" that basically agreed with me. What a load of crap! The truth is, most people don't agree even remotely with my set of values, and I should just get used to that reality. It's easy to live where I live, with that set of values. But it's hard to live within the context of a country that is alien to them.
The world OK, so they didn't like us much before, how much more are they going to hate us now? Bush now given basically free reign - a second term, and one that was an electoral mandate - what does that mean for how the world will see us?
Date Added: 2004-09-18
London I just got back from London, where I spoke at two conferences, one the London Circuit Riders Conference, and the other a "Penguin Day" or inagural event of a new Open Source Initiative for the UK Voluntary sector. They were both amazing events, very well attended, very interesting and exciting. I'm glad I got to go, and see the kinds of developments happening in non-profit technology in the UK.
I did even squeeze in a little time to go sightseeing, and met some more linuxchix from London and surrounding areas. All in all, I had a great time, met some really wonderful people (some of whom I really hope stick around in my life for a while). It was a good time to get out of the country, too, and see things from different perspectives.
Seminary and Life Many of you reading this already know, but for some of you it might be a new thing (perhaps not a surprise, I've been amazed by how few people I've told that find it odd.) I'm applying this year to go to seminary in Fall of '05. It's a big life change. One that I am really excited about, looking forward to, and also scares the living daylights out of me at times. But I do know it's the right thing for me to be doing. I hope to be writing a lot more about the process, and what I go through here, so you'll learn more about what it's like.
Fall Fall is my second favorite season (after spring). I love fall. I think it's because I love change. All of the seasons have change, but Fall and Spring seem to embody change in a way that Winter and Summer don't as much. The leaves are beginning to turn, the air is getting crisper, nights getting longer and cooler. I can watch the birds begin their long flights south to warmer climes.
This fall has more significance than others. We have a very, very important vote ahead of us in 6 weeks. I hope everyone reading this in the US is registered to vote, and everyone reading this who can vote, does. It's really, really important. There are multiple obvious reasons to vote: the war in Iraq, the sad state of the economy, the deficit, the environment, etc. But another reason is the increasing threats to our civil liberties, including chilling of free speech that we seem to be noticing, but it's not really sinking in how important it is to halt those trends. An example is of the teenager who had a bumper sticker that said "King George, off with his head" - an obvious reference to voting Bush out of office. He got a visit from the Secret Service!! I feel like we live in dangerous times, and Bush has made them more, not less dangerous.
Date Added: 2004-07-14
Summer It's summer. The weather has been gorgeous, I've had bits of time to relax (bits too small, I think.) I'm heading to the Berkshires this weekend for a meditation retreat, which I am very much looking forward to. Life, at least at this present moment (the most important moment) is good.
Farenheit 9/11 Did I spell that right? I had the great pleasure of seeing it with some colleagues of mine, when I was in San Francisco for a fabulous meeting. I could quibble with some of Michael Moore's techniques and the way he chose to focus on some things, but truly, they are quibbles. It was a great film, and, although likely it will speak already to the converted, I hope as many people as possible see it. I hope that you all have seen it - you need to.
Strange net happenings As most of you know, I've been on the net forever. Since before most people knew about it, or cared about it. I've had an email address since 1988, put up my first web site in 1994, have corresponded with hundreds or thousands of people in all sorts of places over those 16 years. I've yet, however, to match an experience I've been going through for the past few months. I won't go into too much detail for a variety of reasons (I decided, now that I'm back to writing, that it is great fodder for a short story.)
The gist is this: someone who I've corresponded with, in pretty deep ways, over a large chunk of that time I've been on the net, but never met in person, has, for reasons that I am entirely clueless about, decided that I've been actively decieving them, and I have been involved in some wierd nefarious ways in their life. This has been going on for several months, and there has been nothing I could say that has seemed to shake them from that conclusion. For a while, I was taking it very personally, but I just figured out (yeah, I know, sometimes I am really slow) that I can't take it personally at all, because it's not about me. That can be one of life's most challenging lessons, certainly for me. (I think it's probably the part of classic Leo that I actually have - everything is about me, it's my fault, etc.) It reminds me of the Four Agreements, one of which is to not take anything personally, because a lot of the things that people do or say are not reflections on us, but reflections of their own inner selves. So now, I am at the point where I am simply sending that person my best wishes for their life, and letting them go.
Writing I'm writing again! It's been a revelation. I forgot how much I get out of it, how much it means to me, how much better I feel when I write. I've been writing both poetry and prose, I even am writing a short story! It feels really good to be writing again.
The end of the oil age Some of you know that in the past few years, I've had a penchant for reading depressing political books. First there was Nickled and Dimed, then there was a book about water, Michael Moore's Stupid White Men, some Noam Chomsky thrown in to the mix. I put a lid on it for a while, but I found myself reflexively reaching for, and picking up a book about oil. It's called The Party's Over. It's a very important, if very sobering read.
New Tattoo Drumroll... yeah, I got a new tattoo to give the bear paw some company. (Well, not really, since it's on the other arm.) I'd been thinking for a long time about getting a tattoo of Quan Yin. (Here's a fairly decent essay about Quan Yin.) The artist who did it is Kevin from Loonar in Hadley. I was really impressed with how it looks. Of course now it's in that ugly healing peeling stage (I'll spare you details). But I know when it's done healing, it will look fabulous.
Date Added: 2004-05-08
The atrocities at Abu Graib As many of you have, I've been following the unspeakable horror unfolding from Abu Graib prison in Iraq. The first set of images was disturbing enough - but it gets worse. And my question is: why haven't heads rolled? Big heads, like Rumsfeld's. And, of course, because the US is not a party to the treaty that created the International Criminal Court I guess those who were directly and indirectly responsible will not face a war crimes trial, which they should. There is no question: these are war crimes. Why they are not being called war crimes is unclear to me.
The only option that the US has, in order to make it clear to the world how unacceptible this behavior is, is to hand over those who were involved to the International Criminal Court to be tried. How can any other process be looked upon internationally as fully taking responsibility for those atrocities?
In Canada To my great relief, I've left the country for just a few days to attend the Open Source Conference. Here are the gory details. It's nice to be out of the states for a while, especially now.
Date Added: 2004-02-22
Travelling again I just got to California, for my annual visit to friends and, well, sun. Ha. The friends are here, but the sun isn't. I got here yesterday, and it's rainy and in the 50s. I guess that's better than snow and in the 20s, but it's a bit disappointing. Further, it looks like it's going to rain all week. Sigh. I guess I shouldn't complain - I am getting out of town, into a new environment, which must be good.
Zen Mountain Center, again Last year, my friends took me to the Zen Mountain Center. We went again this year, for a ceremony that tested the knowledge of the head student in a particular koan. It was really interesting, and such a different tradition than I am used to. But I always enjoy my time up there. This time, though, there was snow. A bit unexpected, but it was interesting how little I minded it. Maybe because I have gotten so used to it this year.
Ralph Nader OK, I need help here. Why on earth is Ralph Nader running for president again? I can't figure it out. Last time, before we knew what a horrible president Bush would be, I totally understood why he ran, even though it was very clear that he wasn't going to win. I even thought really hard about voting for him, and almost did. But this time, we need to get Bush out of office - and he knows that, so why is he running? The supposed rationale that both parties are basically the same just rings hollow this year, I guess it's because right now, they just aren't. No, I'm not a real fan of John Kerry, but I'd much rather have him as president than shrub.
Gay Marriage Some comments about gay marriage. First off, here are some pictures from San Francisco. It's been an interesting few months. I live in the state where the first legal gay marriages will occur in May (I already know of a number of couples who will take advantage of it.) San Francisco apparently took a very shrewd legal strategy to get this done. It's fascinating, and I wouldn't have predicted this outcome in million years. I actually predict that gay marriages will become legal in the US within 5 years or so, with relatively minor uproar, which will die down. Maybe that's too optimistic, but it just seems that between the strength of the legal arguments for gay marriage, and the change in attitudes in the country (albeit not complete), this will happen. The fascinating part is that 3 years ago, we were all ecstatic about civil unions in Vermont, and yet now not only are we not interested in it, but it's also the "winning" position for the radical right. I'm getting whiplash.
Date Added: 2004-01-31
The biting cold Those of you I've talked to over the past few weeks know that I am not having a fun time this winter. It's been unremittingly cold, and I realize that it's really hard for me in this cold. I don't want to go anywhere, don't want to do anything, etc. What astonished me is how wonderful today felt. I almost thought it was spring - I drove for a while with my window rolled a bit down, took a little walk, felt really good being outside. Funny. The high today was 30. Wow. I thought it was a lot warmer than that. I even got my car washed!! I hope I can open it tomorrow!
Politics Ah, the joy of an election year. Hah. Well, maybe. I have hope. For a while I was pretty sure that we'd have 4 more years of shrub. But it looks like perhaps we might get lucky, and get 4 years of ... Kerry? It's a sad state of affairs, I think, when I think that's a good thing. Kerry is my senator. He's the one I always call to pester about voting one way or another. Kennedy and Olver (my rep) I always seem to call to congratulate them, or thank them for voting the way I want them to. But Kerry's the one I pester. Sigh. He's better than shrub, for sure, but it's not making me jump up and down. One thing you can do, however, to at least help defeat shrub, is write Ralph Nader and ask him not to run for president again. There is a nice website on this issue too. I have given up hope that either an independent candidate, or a third party on the left is going to make a dent. I think our only hope is to try and work with the democrats and move them away from where they've been over the past 15 years or so, and move them in a more progressive direction.
The WMD... where are the WMD??? I'm watching this whole thing about the dissapearing WMD with a combination of satisfaction, but also real sadness. Many of us were pretty sure that at the very least the Bush administration was exaggerating the threat Iraq might have posed to their neighbors, and flatly made up the idea that they were a threat to us. It turns out, there weren't much of a threat to anyone. The sadness comes from the knowledge that that exaggeration (and perhaps fabrication) of the WMD threat cost thousands of civilian, and hundreds of US miltary lives, for no good reason. Sure, yeah Saddam was a horrible dictator. But there are quite a number of horrible dictators in the world, and many of them were put there by us in the first place. That's not enough of a reason to do what we did. But now, of course, the deed is done, Iraqi's will be paying for it for a long time, and no one is really caring much about how it got started in the first place. I hope the democrats use it as a campaign issue - because it is, and I think American's deserve to hear the truth about why we really invaded Iraq. It wasn't the WMD, clearly.
Date Added: 2004-01-05
It's 2004! I figured it was time to talk about the new year, 2004, and what I think it will bring for me, and for the world. (Oh, yes, serious prognostication going here.)
Actually, I can't quite even believe it's 2004. It's one of those things I find hard to believe sometimes. Like when did I get to be this old? Why can't I write 19-- on my checks?
2003 was a good year for me, in a personal sense, although it was a terrible year in the world for a lot of reasons. I think I expressed this here close to my last birthday - like I'm getting better every year, or something - each year it seems I'm closer to the person I really want to be. I guess I just wish the world were getting closer to the world I want it to be (how selfish - I do know that my idea of paradise is likely a lot different than a lot of other peoples).
Leaving things behind A very dear and old friend visited me last week, over New Years. She brought with her a new New Years ritual: to write down the things we wanted to leave behind in 2003 on a piece of paper, then burn it. It made so much sense. I've been terrible at resolutions. I always resolve to eat better, or exercise more, or work less, or something equally unlikely. Resolutions are like adding to the top of a pile of stuff you want to do (or, maybe, like adding to the bottom). Talking about things to leave behind, in the words of someone I talked with about this, is like making space for new stuff to arise. I like that idea. I think I'll do it next year, too.
Drum Roll... So what is up for the coming year? For me, a lot more of the same - but I'm hoping more of the good stuff, and less of the not so good. The main focus of my work work, is the same - I'm now a member of the Database Designs team, and I'm having a blast. The main focus of my artistic work this year is going to be videography, which I am really looking forward to delving into. I'm promising myself (uh oh, I think that's a resolution creeping in there) to do more hiking this coming spring and summer.
I'm hoping against hope that we manage to eject our present president from office. I know it's a long shot, but the idea of 4 more years of Bush and his policies is about enough to make me want to puke. Which country are we going to invade next under false pretenses? Actually, what I'm really hoping is that either the Haliburton thing, or that whole scandal around who outed the secret agent will blow up in his face just around, oh, say September or October. Way too late for any damage control. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
I'm "reading" (actually listening to the audiobook) a really scary and depressing book by Noam Chomsky called "Hegemony and Survival". The basic premise of the book is that the pursuit of world hegemony by the US, decreases the chances that we will survive as a species. I'm not done with it yet, but don't go rushing out to pick it up. What I'm trying to say is, it's not that it's not a good book. It is a good book. Noam Chomsky does good books. It's just that the content of the book is just so utterly depressing. Maybe I haven't gotten yet to the part where he explains how we can get out of all of this. I'll keep you posted. You can get vicariously depressed through me, if you'd like.
What I do hope is that every single person reading this blog (all 2 of you) and your loved ones, families, friends, pets, fish, etc. have a healthy, joyful, inspiring, relaxing, invigorating, and just plain wonderful New Year.
Date Added: 2003-11-27
Rediscovering Music For many, many years, since childhood, really, I've been an avid music fan. I have one of the most eclectic tastes in music than just about anyone I know. In the 80s, one of my favorite activities was making mix tapes for myself and friends. It's been a long time since I've made mix tapes - I think the last time was in the early 90s, when I actually still did make tapes. I think I've made a couple of mixes over the past 10 years, but I used to make at least 3-4 a year.
I've started to make mixes again. One of the things that has propelled this is that I finally broke down and bought an iPod. I never really got into the Napster/Gnutella, etc. music downloading, although I admit to having downloaded a few songs. But I've been ripping every CD that I own, which is itself fun, because then I can carry around all of my CDs with me. So, if you want my 2003 mix (its' got some really, really nice stuff), drop me an email, and I'll give (or send) it to you (on CD).
November Rain It's November (well, actually, it's the end of November). We've had a nice run of great weather, but the rain (and snow) is starting. I shouldn't complain, it's really be a nice fall. But I realize that the fall is coming to a close, winter is approaching rapidly, and we're going to be covered in white soon. I'm actually, at this moment, looking forward to it. I'm not exactly sure why, but I am. Maybe it's because I get to slow down and hibernate.
Democracy Now I'm listening right now to Democracy Now, which is playing a talk by Bill Moyers about media conglomeration and the importance of the free market over our needs to be informed. It's amazing. He's a great speaker, and is laying out all of the issues around the big business behind media - and the ways in which it is "censorship without censors". Democracy Now is a great daily show - with news you never hear anywhere else, even not on NPR. Time to give them some \$.
Date Added: 2003-11-02
Fall Sorry if you've been waiting a while (months!) for a new entry. It sometimes takes me a while to get myself to write an entry here, then sometimes I keep forgetting. But here it is.
Fall is more than officially here. In fact, it is officially late fall. I like Fall. It's my second favorite season after Spring. I like it because, like spring, it is the essence of change. Winter and Summer are, in some ways, unending in feeling - Winter feels like it will just endure forever, and we'll never see the sun again, or feel a warm wind on our skin. Summer has also an eduring feel, with day after day of warm, sunny weather, so many we get so used to it. It's true, both Winter and Summer are full of change, but I don't think we (or at least I) notice those changes anywhere near as much as the changes that embody Fall and Spring.
New Work This fall has a bit of a heightened significance for me, at least in terms of work. I joined a company, called Database Designs Associates, based in Boston. I'm doing pretty much the same work that I've been doing full time, mostly solo, over the past 4+ years (hard to believe I started helping nonprofits with technology issues almost 10 years ago), but I have new colleagues, and I'm really enjoying it immensely. It gives me a better feeling of stability and it's really fun working with colleagues, and taking on bigger projects than I could do alone. XINA my baby, keeps developing, and with some new developer help, I'm pushing hard toward a new release by Jan 1. It feels good that it is maturing, more people are using it, and there are some cool new features (like RSS syndication) coming up.
Writing? I'm starting to do bits and peices of writing again, which feels really good. Not anything too systematic, but it feels good to go back to getting stuff down on paper again - I have missed the process of writing - since I really haven't written much personal poetry or prose in the past few years.
PDM Last but not least on my mind is a new organization I've become a part of, called PDM (Progressive Democrats of Massachusetts) It's an organization with the goal of getting more progressive democrats into state government, and supporting those that are already there, like my great rep, Ellen Story. I think it has promise, although it's a long haul. But I like the focus on the state, which somehow seems more doable, or changeable than national politics, which doesn't feel entirely hopeless, but kinda. But I know there is a lot going on in the "anyone but Bush" movement.
Date Added: 2003-08-02
As I was driving home from Northampton this afternoon, after helping to give a summer service at my "church" (The Unitarian Society of Northampton and Florence), I broke into a smile, and realized that I was happy. I realize that I am happier and more at peace than I have perhaps ever been. I kept thinking, why should I be happy, when the world is in such a crappy state? What right to I have? I'm not living in wedded bliss with a partner, my bones are a bit creaky, my allergies are acting up, it's so damn hot, and I'm still happy. Why isn't there something I'm ready to complain about, or lament, or just feel bad about?
I decided that I just needed to "get over it", and enjoy the bliss for a while. Who knows how long this will last - when something will come along to extinguish it. I feel like my 45th year (it is my 44th birthday on Tuesday, August 5th) will be better than my 44th, which was better than my 40th, which was better than my 35th... I think there is a very nice trend here.
For those of you who might be interested (who reads this, anyway?), I've put up mystatement that I wrote for the service (below). I created the service together with someone I hadn't known before, but now call a friend, and that was at least half (if not more) of the fun and satisfaction of working on the project to create the service. It did give me a chance to do some thinking about things that have been on my mind for a while, and it stretched me, in what I think are good ways, and good directions.
Date Added: 2003-08-02
I was lamenting to a friend the other day about writing this statement. I explained that I thought that these sorts of things should raise some questions, and be complete with some actual answers, or guidance, or something. I realized that I had few real answers to give, and just more questions.
A number of things prompted me to think about doing a service this summer, and in particular, doing a service with this focus: building bridges. Our government's choice to go to war this year spurred my thinking about how we all live each day in our lives, and how that might influence, even in an infinitesimal way, the conditions in the world.
I have some stories to tell. I'm not sure where they lead, but they are on my mind.
The first story is about a street musician. One day, I was walking down main street in Northampton, minding my own business as usual. I give money occasionally to street buskers, but, in all honesty, I'm sorta on my way from one place to another, and I mostly ignore them. I came across this particular man who was playing the flute. I'd seen him before, but there was something in that day or the way he was playing that made me stop and listen for a while, and give him some money.
You might know this man, he's the one that will stop you if you've given him money, and engage you with stories that he tells from cards you choose from a couple of decks. At the time, I had no idea that would happen. So he stopped me, and asked me to choose two cards. I did, and then he went on to tell me stories about those cards. It was interesting, and fun, and it felt like there was genuine connection that we made, one that obviously would not have happened had I just walked by.
The second story is not a neatly packaged story like that one. It's the story of my continued, and unremittingly thought-provoking relationship with people who beg for $ on the street. For me, I have phases. I went through a phase a few years ago, where I gave money to everyone. Then, after a conversation with an ex-drug addict, who convinced me that most people on the streets are begging money for drugs, I stopped entirely, but was never at all happy with that. Now, I'm in sort of an in-the-middle phase. I give sometimes, but not always. There is no rhyme or reason in my giving - except perhaps whether I have change handy in my pocket. Although I have to admit, I gave money once to a guy who had a sign that said "I'm asking for money for some beer", because he was being so dead honest.
I have been given gifts in this life. Like many people, I've been through various hardships during my early life, but now, I think that I am lucky. Once I read a quote, that I believe came from the Dalai Lama, that said, basically, you are rich if you recognize that you have everything you need. By that metric, I'm rich. I have a roof over my head, plenty of food from Bread and Circus, and work that I love. I have friends that I care deeply for, and I feel at home in my community. I am rich.
I am both a Unitarian Universalist and a Buddhist. In both traditions there are clear directions about having compassion for our fellow beings. Walking by a person who is on the street begging for money (for whatever reason) is very difficult for me - I feel as if I want to express my compassion for their situation in some way.
Once, a while back, I was in Washington DC, in Union Station, waiting to take a train back to the valley. There was a woman there who had asked me for money, and I was in my "I don't give any" phase. But I looked in her eyes, and she looked pretty desperate. So I offered to buy her lunch (it was around lunchtime). She smiled this big smile, and we went to a little deli counter, and I encouraged her to order whatever she wanted. I got the impression that she almost never was able to eat exactly what she wanted. She got a meal that I think she enjoyed and I was down a few bucks.
In Buddhism, there is the law of Karma. I can't really articulate it very well, since I feel like such a beginner. I basically think of Karma as a way that my intentions and actions work in the world and in my life. Positive intentions and actions have positive results, negative intentions and actions have negative results. The individual acts we do add up somehow. I'd like to think that even though that woman only got a meal that kept her going for another few hours, that my act of buying her lunch was just a little drop in our ocean of action. And maybe little drops in that ocean of action, taken together, can make a difference. And that taking the time, energy and effort to build bridges between us and people we don't know, or who feel foreign, or even a little threatening, are important droplets in that ocean of action.
It doesn't answer my question about whether to drive past the guy on Bay Road and Rt. 9 with the sign, it doesn't help me answer whether I pay attention to those signs in the store windows urging people not to give money to people on the street. But maybe it gives me a bit of a framework, or a way to look at things.
I have a quote by Thich Nat Han:
The Buddha has said that whoever sees inter-being sees the Buddha. So as we touch the earth we see Buddhas in us and we see ourselves in the Buddhas. We see all suffering beings in us and we see ourselves in them... What have you done in with your life? has what you have done been of real benefit to yourself, your loved ones and all being? The Buddhas are in us; we are in the Buddhas. We can become Buddhas. We can become enlightened.
Date Added: 2003-06-25
Spring is gone, I think After the longest winter, and the longest spring I can remember, summer is finally here, with a bang. Looks like we have a long week of hot weather in store. I complained about the cloudiness and the rain, and now I feel like I really can't complain about the heat, even though I want to. Apparently (I heard this while getting my groceries bagged at Bread and Circus) the farmer's almanac says there will be 19 sunny days this summer. Well, since we've already had, like 4, and we're supposed to have another 5 in a row, hmmmm that doesn't bode well for July or August, now does it?
NGO Watch The American Enterprise Institute has launched a program called NGO Watch - which is a project to "watch" NGOs that apparently they don't like. If you go to their website, the only NGOs they now have information on are: Greenpeace, National Organization for Women, Human Rights Watch, CARE International, and The Nature Conservancy. For each organization they have bried inflammatory tidbits on the right hand side about problems they see with these organizations. I wouldn't care so much except these days, the Bush administration listens to these people. So who is watching them? Is there a AEIwatch.org? (well, it turns out, the domain was available, so I snatched it up. Dunno what I'm going to do with it, but it feels good that I own it.)
Date Added: 2003-05-21
Crazy days You know how once and a while, you'll have a day that is just, well, crazy. It seems to accumulate craziness. Today is my day. I start out with hearing from a friend about a very stressful situation, move to breaking up a cat fight between my cat and a neighbor's cat - it was the worst catfight I'd ever seen - and my poor kitty has been limping around the house ever since. I think she's OK, no blood seems to be showing, so I think she'll be fine. And of course, I had to break up this cat fight in the middle of a phone call with a client!
Then, there is the big event of the day I'm talking with a colleage on the phone, and I see a call waiting call that is unkown to me, so I let it go. Come to find out, it's a New York Times reporter, calling me to interview me! I was astonished. Me? Me. They were investigating the practice that Microsoft has of deeply discounting software to the nonprofit sector. Apparently, they will be ramping up this activity over the next couple of years. He wanted the open source angle - wanted to find out what I thought about how this would affect the adoption of open source software. I got to say a few pretty intelligent things, then of course, the suspicions about Microsofts real motive behind the program. And of course, the reality that they could very well one day just decide to stop. And lots of nonprofits would be subject to huge new licensing issues. Ah, don't you just love monopolies?
Date Added: 2003-05-06
Travelling Appalachia I just got back from a great trip with a very old college friend. We went to way western Virginia (the part that sticks out over Tennessee - believe it or not), and northwestern North Carolina. I'd never been to that particular part of the country before. It is staggeringly beautiful, especially this time of year. My allergies complained - because it was like I'd moved from the very beginnings of spring to full bloom of everything in the course of 1 day (I drove down). We stayed for several nights in this very nice, cute inn called the Alpine Inn. It has great views, is run by great people, and they have healthy (and good!) breakfasts. We went to a couple of places to pick gemstones out of big piles of rocks. More on that story later.
It was nice to get away - I think I needed some perspective - and vacations always provide that. It was also wonderful to get a taste of late spring in early spring! Spring does seem to have officially, finally arrived, so that we don't even quite remember how bad the winter was. I guess I should try to remember that during the winter: "soon, you'll forget all of this".
Transformations I'm not exactly sure why this particular word is on my mind. I have been told that we are all in a transformational state - that we will be moving into a new way of being. I'd like to beleive this is true - I'd like to think that maybe we are, as a species, headed in some new, interesting (and positive, I hope) directions. I argue with myself about whether to be pessimistic about the future (the economy,the continuing broadening gulf between those that have and those that don't, the fact that we have an administration that may as well be considered radical right, and seems to think it's OK to invade countries that are only a vague, potential threat, etc.) or optimistic (we had an amazing, global response to the possibility of war). I'm still pondering. I have mostly given up hope of seing major, substantial change in my lifetime, but maybe I'm wrong about that...
My 'hood I was taking a walk yesterday evening (I've taken to walking every evening - it's a good habit to get into) around my "neighboorhood". That's in quotes, because when you live in a semi-rural area, I feel like saying that I have a neighborhood is stretching it a bit. (You can take the girl out of NY, but not take the NY out of the girl...) Although where I live is probably the most densely populated part of Amherst, where most of the apartment complexes are, there is still kinda a rural feel about it. It's just up the block from some farms, and the smell of manure in the springtime is quite evident, we have a brook and woods just next door (with beavers!).
Anyway, I've lived here on and off (mostly on) for 11 years. I've noticed how things have changed, and how they have stayed the same. The complex next to mine now boasts "Apartment Homes" (when did apartments become "apartment homes?") and has a health club. It's still the most diverse neighboorhood in Amherst, which is nice. I guess I was just much appreciating where I live on a nice spring evening.
Date Added: 2003-04-17
I've been remiss... I've been quite remiss in writing here - primarily because I've been at such a loss as to how to deal with what's been happening. I think I'm feeling a bit better, feeling like maybe I can think about things more coherently. So, the war is basically over. But it's not over. I'm not sure it will be over for a good long time. Who knows who is next. Syria? North Korea? It's going to be a long haul.
How to live? I've been struggling probably for my whole life, on how to live "right". Right in the sense of consonant with my own values. I think perhaps I'm understanding more, getting closer. I'm doing research on utopian and intentional communities. It's pretty interesting.
Spring Sigh. It's spring. The daffodils are out, the crocuses have gone by, the willows and other trees are showing big buds. It's really nice. It seems the winter weather might actually, finally be behind us. It was such a long winter - longest and hardest in my memory for sure. I am not sad to leave it behind.
Date Added: 2003-03-28
Life During Wartime The war keeps going... Luckily, I've mostly not listened to the news, or seen TV. I hear from friends that it is getting messy, but I haven't seen much. The truth is, every time I've turned on the news, I just get sick to my stomach, and also I can't understand how the news media can just report all of this with the kind of "straight" reporting they use. We only see our side, not where the bombs have hit, and we don't see the suffering we are causing. I can't watch coverage like that.
I'm beginning to collect anti-war images of various sorts. You can see them here.
I'm consciously trying to get my work done, spend time with friends, go to marches and vigils and demos of various sorts, and keep up my weekly fast. I guess that's all I can do. but it's hard to keep the reality of the war in my mind while I keep going on with my life.
Changing one's life I've been having interesting conversations with a variety of good friends about how it is we live our lives, and how it is we could live differently. I'm struggling with knowing that our lifestyles as americans are eating away at reasources the planet (and others in the world) need. And I know that the day of reckoning, the day when we have to stop living the kind of wasteful, consumeristic life that we lead, will have to come to an end. And I'm very interested in having that happen voluntarily, before we are forced by circumstance to change our ways of living.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm on an edge, or coming to an edge, where I can't exactly see where I'm going, but maybe it feels like I'm definitely going somewhere. In any event, I'll keep you posted.
Date Added: 2003-03-28
Albums:
Trip to London -- I went to London in September - here's a few shots. Too many of the London Eye\
Friend's House in Maine -- Some friends of mine have a great house on the coast of Maine - here are some shots from two different trips there.\
The April 2004 March for Women's Lives -- I marched with the NNAF contingent.\
A trip to VA/NC -- I took a trip with my old friend Rachel to Western Virginia and North West North Carolina in April of 2003.\
Date Added: 2003-03-19
I just learned about an hour ago that we've started bombing Iraq. I don't know what to do, how to think, how to react. I just feel sick to my stomach, and angry and sad. It seems appropriate that I'm fasting tomorrow. I'll be thinking of the children (50% of Iraqi's are under the age of 18). Maybe tomorrow I'll have a better plan - a better way to think about all of this.For now, I'm eating some comfort food, doing some work, and hopefully I can sleep tonight.I have some candles burning in my windows.
Date Added: 2003-03-16
Candelight Vigil This evening, about 4 hours ago, I was on Amherst common - at the candelight vigil that was shared by thousands all over the world. Go to Move On to see pictures of vigils everywhere. I took quite a number of pictures. I've put several up in the Pictures section. It was a moving experience to see all of these folks out with candles, all wishing for the same thing: peace.
Willows I love spring. I really, really love spring. I notice every new thing that comes along, and so far, I've noticed buckets on maple trees, and the new growth of willows. Willows always seem like they are the first trees to really show that they are getting serious about budding. I love the yellowing new growth. It shows such promise. Spring is a season of promise, of new beginnings, new blossoms, green leaves opening, grass growing, and, of course. Mud. But I don't mind the mud near as much as I mind the snow and ice, so I'm a happy camper. It was warm today - I was outside and even got hot at one point! Hot! Wow.
Date Added: 2003-02-28
Travelling It's been a while since I've written here - mostly because I've been travelling, then busy catching up from travelling, then busy getting ready for travelling more. I'm going back to California (Oakland) for 5 days for a conference, the Roundup, a gathering of people who do work just like me - help non-profits with technology issues.
I'm looking forward to it - one, because it will be nice to see people I only usually see online, and re-connect with folks. Also, it should be interesting - there is some good stuff going on. And, last but not least, I get to go back to California, where it is a lot warmer.
Then, after that I head to New York City for The Alliance for Community Media conference, where I'm helping with the Open Source Cafe (which is also happening at Roundup). So - a very busy few weeks. But I also thought that if the war starts while I'm away, I'll be in two good places to be with a lot of people protesting!
The end of winter I saw buckets on maples yesterday! Buckets! That's like my favorite moment of the winter - it holds the hope of spring, right there, in plain view - the sap of the maple trees running! It does feel like the end of winter is coming. That slow unfreezing, unbinding of everything - hearing the first birds start letting us know that the sun is returning, the mud underfoot becoming more squishy, an indication of the way things are letting go.
I complain a lot about winter - I'm not someone who deals with cold well. But my problem is, I love spring and fall too much, and I understand that I don't get to have those, at least not in the wonderfully expressive, dynamic way we have those here in New England, without the harshness of winter. So I grin and bear it, slog through it, and do my best to escape some of it when I can. But I can already feel myself unfreezing, unbinding, loosening up, opening up, for the coming season.
The Life of David Gale I went to see "The Life of David Gale" today. I definitely don't want to spoil it - since I want you to see it. It's a very interesting and provocative movie. And it leaves you (or at least it left me) with a whole host of very interesting questions. Maybe, after a few weeks, I'll say more about it - because I really can't say much without giving a lot away.
Date Added: 2003-02-10
I made it to California... It was actually one of the most painless plane trips I've had in a while - the short leg, from Hartford to Cincinnati was a pretty empty flight, so I got the whole row to myself. On the way from Cincinnati to LA - it was very crowded (they were asking for volunteers to get off). So that wasn't so much fun. but it really wasn't that bad. Plus, the gates were next to each other, so I had to walk about 50 steps from one to the next. that was nice.
Of course, inevitably, the moment I get here, it gets cold and starts raining. But I'm really not complaining - because it is such an improvement over what it was like in Massachusetts! Of course everyone here is complaining, since they've had, apparently, weeks and weeks of 80 degree weather and sun (although they really, really need the rain.)
I started out my visit with friends going up to the Zen Mountan Center a chunk of the day on Sunday. I was very intrigued by the differences between Zen and Vipassna, the form of mediation I've been practicing for a while. It was a neat place to spend time - very peaceful and grounded.
I'm having a great time with friends, enjoying the warm(ish) weather, and relaxing. I guess that's what vacations are for...
Date Added: 2003-02-10
Here is a quote from the book How to Practice: The Way to a Meaningful Life by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. I've been reading this book for a few weeks (it's not a book you can read quickly.) I came across this quote a week or so ago, and wanted to put it up, but then lost it. I was re-reading the same passage again, and found the quote, so I wanted to put it up here.
It is so appropriate, I think, given the current situation. It is all the more remarkable the way that the Dalai Lama thinks about things, given the realities of his life, and his people's lives.
"As Shantideva explains this practice, first you realize that each and every sentient being wants happiness and does not want suffering, just like you; in this fundamental way you and they are equal. Then, when you consider that you are only a single person measured against an infinite number of other sentient beings, you realize that it would be completely ridiculous either to neglect the welfare of others or to use them for the sake of your own pleasure. It would be far more reasonable to dedicate yourself to their service.
When you consider the situation this way, it becomes very clear. No matter how important you might be, you are only a single person. You have the same right to be happy as everyone else, but the difference is that you are one, and they are many. To lose the happiness of a single person is important, but not so important as losing the happiness of many other beings. From this perspective, you can cultivate compassion, love, and respect for others.
In a sense, all human beings belong to a single family. We need to embrace the oneness of humanity and show concern for everyone - not just my family or my country or my continent. We must show concern for every being, not just the few who resemble us. Differences of religion, ideology, race, economic system, social system, and government are all secondary
Date Added: 2003-02-05
Why I fast
Fasting is a very familiar form of protest. Usually, it is in the form of hunger strikes, rather than short fasts like we are engaged in, it has been common in many, many peace and other protest movements for people to fast. Fasting is also a common way to focus one's attention - reflect, connect with things greater than ourselves.
I'm fasting today, and every Thursday until either we don't go to war with Iraq, or the war ends. First, I'm fasting in solidarity with the many others around the country that have chosen this form of protest against the actions of our government. I'm fasting because it is one of a number specific actions I am taking to actively show my displeasure, anger, sadness and pain at the path our government has chosen to take, in a specific sense about Iraq, and a more general sense about our role as a "superpower" in the world. I fast because I need to express my compassion for the hardships that the Iraqi people have been facing because of UN sanctions, and will face, inevitably, in the face of war with an overwhelming power like the US military.
I am also fasting to remind myself that I can't go about my life exactly as normal. I can't just carry on, working, playing, spending time with people I care about, in the same way as I have been. My life must, in some way, change to accommodate new realities. It can't just be "business as usual".
I am also fasting to connect to a deeper understanding of myself, and my connection to others, here and in the world. I fast to pause, and spend time to reflect on my life, and our lives. I fast because, well, it just seemed, to my brain, my heart, and my spirit, the right path, the right thing to do.
I don't know that my fasting is going to make a difference. I suspect not. I don't even know whether the fasting of all of us that have chosen this form of protest will make a difference. I can only hope so. But in any event, I will fast, I will tell people about my choice to fast, I will tell my government about my choice to fast, and keep hope in my heart.
Date Added: 2003-02-05
I'm sitting here, putting this journal entry into my blog, when I should be doing work. I'm leaving in a day and a bit for a long-needed vacation to California, to visit some dear friends, relax, recharge, and GET WARM. I am very much looking forward to it. But, of course, as usual, I have 50 million things that I should be getting done before I leave. Sigh. I guess I'll get as much done as I get done.
Today I fasted. It is a part of an Amherst "rolling fast" in protest to the possible (probable? inevitable?) war with Iraq. I am very glad that I did it, even though my brain stopped working at one point, toward the end. But it did give me time to reflect, meditate, and write a (above) about why I was fasting.
I got my hair cut today. (Chatting on #linuxchix, I said I was going to get my "fur trimmed"). I spent about 45 minutes in the local barbershop - it's a great place, called "Global Cuts". I got to spend some time hanging out listening to 3 guys talk about boxing and basketball. I think I said, like 3 things: "I avoid boxing", "Muhammed Ali?" (In response to the question "who was the greatest boxer of all time), and "Mugsy Bogues!" (in response to "who was the greatest basketball player). But I got a good haircut. (Quinn is a great barber). I wished they'd spet some time talking about the WNBA, though. Then I might have been able to say something intelligent.
Date Added: 2003-01-26
I was spending some time this evening reading through a lot of old poems that I'd written (I wrote poetry actively from 1983 through 1996, and will likely be writing again soon). I found the following poem, that I'd written 12 years ago, in January of 1991. I thought I'd share it tonight.
January 10, 1991
We've been at war for five months, now\ troops massing at the border\ guys in green yelling "hup!"\
In a week the shooting starts,\ gulf inflamed.\ My man in Baghdad says\ people are hoarding food\ wives and husbands don't haggle\ anymore\ ask the price and buy five, she says\
My man in Texas says\ the price of oil will\ go as high as the sky\ oilmen rich\ the rest of us stay scared.\
Date Added: 2003-01-22
It's Thursday afternoon, I guess that means it's almost Friday, which is a good thing. It feels like I'm in this "I need to figure out my life" mode. I've decided that maybe it never actually happens.
I went to Boston yesterday, braving the extreme cold and wind. I enjoyed it. It reminds me how sometimes, even though I don't really want to live in a city again, that there are things about the city I really enjoyed. I parked my car at Alewife - a big garage at the end of the T line, and spent the day talking public transit from place to place. What a treat! I so miss being able to use public transit - I get tired of driving everywhere in my car. One day, maybe we'll have a system that is good for semi-rural or suburban areas, as well as urban ones. I won't hold my breath, bit I guess I can hope.
If you have a moment, go to the MoveOn.org website. They have an advertisement that they want to get on the Super Bowl this Sunday, if they can get contributions. It's basically an ad which urges the government to let the inspection process work. If you don't know them already, they are great to join - you get periodic action items to do, and such.
I was, in a rare moment, listening to NPR's "The Connection" last night on my drive back from Boston. They had a couple of folks on, one of which was definitely pro-war. And he said "if it goes right, we liberate Iraq,and there is a new democratic nation in the Persian Gulf." I saw his point, except what I wanted to ask him was "what if it goes wrong??" The risk/benefit ratio (as well as the cost/benefit) is something to look very, very carefully at.This seems like a very high-risk venture, with a very low payoff. Wouldn't make a whole lot of sense to me, even if I was the sort that thought that it might be OK to go to war.
An appropriate snippit from "How to Practice" by the Dalai Lama:\
If possible, you should help others. If that is not possible, at least you should do no harm. Refraining from harming others is the essense of the initial stage of living the teachings of morality.
Date Added: 2003-01-18
The March It's lateish now, although not that late for me - about 10:45pm. I thought I'd tune in to CSPAN, and find out whether or not they covered the protest march on Washington today. I'm now watching a replay of parts of the march and rally. I'm so glad that it was very well attended. According to this report in the Washington post - it's one of the largest protests that have been in DC in a long while. I applaud those who braved the cold, to make it down there and let their feelings known. I'm also SO glad that CSPAN exists, and allows people to see the actual protest, and not just the snippets (or less) that might be on the news.
Some chants: "Money for Jobs... Not for War" "George Bush What are you saying? ... Regime change in the USA"
Now, they are replaying a little interaction between some old Marine vets and the marchers. The Vets are singing "God Bless America", and flipping the bird at the protesters. The protesters seem to be ignoring them. :-)
And, now the anti-protesters are chanting "Saddam Hussein... is your dictator" and "Swim to Cuba" and "Why call it ANSWER? .. it's the Worker's World Party". (This refers to the somewhat vieled history of the organization organizing the march - although I think that is irrelevant - if it was, there would be 2,000 not 200,000 people at the march.)
Favorite artist of the week: I've been listening to a lot of Melissa Ferrick this week. There is something about her music that just really, really hits the right space in my heart. She has an amazing combination of lesbian sensibility, thoughtful lyrics, musicality, and just, I don't know, heart. I love it.
Date Added: 2003-01-15
Hopelessness It has felt easy, in these past few months to feel hopeless. I struggle alot against that - the feeling that events in the world are totally out of my control, and there is nothing I can do - I feel hopeless and helpless.
I think, due to spending a lot less time listening to the news, that I feel a lot less hopeless - but then it's easy to fall back into. A quote from "How to Practice" - the book by the Dalai Lama that I'm reading now, seemed a good thing to share:
Under no circumstances should you lose hope. Hopelessness is a real cause of failure. Remember, you can overcome any problem. Be calm, even when the external environment is confused or complicated; it will have little effect if your mind is at peace. On the other hand, if your mind gives way to anger, then even when the world is peaceful and comfortable, peace of mind will elude you.
I'm keeping that in mind, today.
Guilty until proven Guilty It is a very good thing that I have that in mind today. I just was given this link about how the report from the weapons inspectors in Iraq, who found no smoking gun, suggests to Herr Rumsfeld that they must be hiding something. Here's his quote, just for kicks and grins:
"The fact that the inspectors have not yet come up with new evidence of Iraq's WMD program could be evidence, in and of itself, of Iraq's noncooperation,"
GRRRRR... I've known for months that we are going to war. Our adminstration (well, not mine, I didn't vote for them) has been hell-bent of invading Iraq for a good long time - evidence suggests even before 9/11. Sigh. I have heard, however, people who I think are smart about these things, say that this is the time to make our thoughts and opinions about this felt. So I'm here, and I'll be out in the streets, too.
Music I just simply love music - there really is no other way to describe how I feel about it. There are a small number of genres of music (country, opera, bluegrass, acid rock) that I don't actively search out new artists, or listen to very much, even though there are a few artists/peices (like Patsi Cline, the sound track to "O Brother Where Art Thou" and a few arias I just adore) that I love. But just about every other genre, I listen to - and I especially engaged in listening to electronica, afro-pop and jazz these days, and a heavy sprinkling of rap. Who's on my list? I got a wonderful gift from a friend - an album of music by the Cape Verdean singer Cesaria Evora. Just incredibly mesmerizing music. I've become, for some reason I just can't quite fathom, enmeshed in the soundtrack to the movie "8 Mile" by Eminem. Yeah, I know, that guy. But there is something about the way he is combining rhythm, words, and music that just captivates me.
The RIAA, music downloads, and the whole intellectual property thang Because of my love of music, and the amount I listen to, I have some very strong opinons about what's happening now. And, because I have a strong connection to technology and technology issues, I think about this alot. Disclaimer: I've used Napster, and now use Gnutella. It's a great way to learn about new artists - I hear someone mention an artist - I look them up, dowload a few songs - next thing I know, I'm in the record store. Right, I'm IN THE RECORD STORE. I know that many people download music from peer to peer sites, and never go to a record store. I know that CD sales have plummeted. But I also know that bands like Phish, who actively give out their music, and let fans record shows, are doing fine, thank you very much. Tim O'Reilly had a great article about this recently. His point of view, which I agree with, is that obscurity is a greater threat to authors and artists than piracy. I think that makes a whole lot of sense to me.
Intellectual property is a huge issue right now - and as someone who actively creates content and software, I have a stake in it. But right now, what's really happening is that although you might think that we are moving in the direction of protecting intellectual property - what's happening is that we are protecting the big owners of intellectual property, at the expense of both small owners and users. Big companies get stupid patents, because they can afford the cost, while small people with prior art get trampled because they can't hire lawyers.
I'll have more to say about this in the future - lots has been kicking around in my brain about it, and it's near and dear to my heart.
Date Added: 2003-01-14
Day one of the live, public, uh, journal. I'm trying hard to figure out what the point is, but I know - it just might take me a little while to have it all come clear.
Got a funny "political" cartoon to share: a funny cartoon. A serious link is the new United for Peace. Also, join Move On - it's a great way to get updates on anti-war and other efforts.
This week, I've been reading "How to Practice" by the Dalai Lama. It's a really straightforward book, a really good, clear description of the isses in life, and how to practice to find happiness. I'd recommend it to anyone, whether or not you consider yourself a buddhist.
I've also just finished a book by Melissa Scott, "The Shapes of Their Hearts." I am an unabashed Melissa Scott fan. I love her characters, the way that she imagines our cyber futures. I look forward to reading more work of hers.
For those of you who 1) like science fiction, and 2) live somewhere in the vicinity of Northampton, MA, I want to recommend The Space-Crime Continuum. It's a great little independent bookstore that will satisfy the needs of even the most strange and eclectic science fiction or mystery fan (which I am not, honestly - I've never been able to get into mysteries, for some reason.) They have a website, of course. Nice folks too.
For those of you that know me, I've been on a self-imposed news blackout, which I've described as a news-junkies "cold turkey" and someone else has described as "detox." It's been, basically, a powerful experience. I went from listening to the news 2-3 times per day on the radio, seeing it several times a week on TV, reading the NYT every Sunday, to basically just reading the NYT on Sunday, which I am soon to stop. About a month or so ago, I sent out an email to friends, describing what had happened to me during the 3 weeks or so I was off of the news. It's been really pretty extraordinary. And interestingly enough, I can't handle much news anymore - I can listen to NPR maybe for 10 minutes before I can't stand it anymore and have to turn it off.
I actually don't feel much less informed, and I do feel a whole heck of a lot less weighed down by the press of the news, and the way things are going right now. But more on that in my next installment.
Date Added: 2003-01-14
For those of you who don't really know me well, and don't know what I do in life, I'll give you some links. My personal persona lives here. You can also find my professional persona.
The engine behind this blog is called XINA. My project, with some key assistance from great colleagues. You can find it at www.xinasoft.org. I happen to think it's halfway decent, but I think that's for others to judge. If you happen to actually follow this journal, I'm sure that you'll notice subtle changes without warning. That's because the engine is continually under development.
For those of you into open-source development, you can also find me on advogato.
Date Added: 2003-01-14
There is a poll on Time Europe asking which country is the biggest threat to peace? The options, North Korea, Iraq, and.... the US! When I voted 80% of the votes were for, you guessed it, the US!
What do you think?
Date Added: 2003-01-14
As I'm sitting here writing this, I'm also sitting and reading (haven't commented in a bit) the conversations on an IRC channel that I basically live on. It is a channel that is part of a larger global electronic community, called linuxchix. Many times has one of the chix saved my butt on a technology issue, listened to me rant and rave about something going on in the world, gave me support on something I was doing, etc. It's a great community. Find it at www.linuxchix.org
Date Added: 2003-01-14
Here is my live journal, blog, public space where I share my opinions, life, ideas, what have you. I hope that you'll find these words entertaining, useful, informative, maybe even funny sometimes.
Back in the winter of 2003, I decided to do this primarily because I needed space to tell what I was thinking/feeling about the state of the world. And, to share things with people I know and care about. I keep it going for the same reasons. Also, given the new changes in my life, it seems a good way to help me keep up with myself. :-)
There are 4 sections to this "Blog". "Journal" has my periodic postings, thoughts, ideas, etc. "Discussions" is where I post things that I invite people to discuss. "Notes" are just little things that I think of to drop in. "Pictures" is my database of photos. It's been a bit slow, and I actually intend to put up a gallery, at some point.
This blog was started January 14, 2003.
Send me email with any comments you have.
